East Anglia - iLiveHere: Best & Worst UK Towns Reviewed

Newmarket, Suffolk

Well, poor little “sweet” Newmarket…. Now the once racing town visited by royalty has become a breeding ground for the most unwanted of races, the *****. During the days you may see a few Burrberry (fake) caps and the odd parka but after 11, they come out to play. 11 is when Deniros finishes, the […]

Cambridge

Yes, **** types are abundant in posh towns as well! I’m afraid they look and sound exactly the same here as they do anywhere else. Not quite sure why all ****’s affect that dumb “alright mate” talk. Perhaps they think it makes them look “street”. I think ****’s are hilarious. They are the clowns of […]

Peterborough, I’d advise acquiring shares in Sports Direct, Tesco & Poundland

Is Peterborough a nice place to live or is Peterborough rough?

Peterborough has existed for a great many years and the its grandiose cathedral plays host to a site of an ancient Benedictine order of monks who, after an era of penetance, became somewhat affluent revelling in their pious prosperity with great banquets. All that remains of these foundations has been buried, for better or worse, […]

Grays

Grey, grim, industrial Thames Estuary wasteland, neighbouring Lakeside, which shines in the distance like a **** Oz would to the **** Dorothy, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion. In Burberry. […]

Ipswich

Ouch!!! This place really is bad. Hull may have been voted England’s crappiest town – and after a couple of visits I can see why – but Ipswich has worse violent crime stats than Hull by a whole person. It doesn’t look as rough as Hull, most of the estates are comprised of terraced and […]

Chelmsford

I, unfortunately, through my own fault of either not doing well enough at school (or being too lazy to look for another job) work for one of the towns large food retailers. Another unfortunate consequence of this is the fact I come into contact with some of the filthiest excuses for human beings around today. […]

Witham

If you want to visit a town that has had a culture bypass this is it. I live on one of the many sprawling **** ******** council estates in close proximity to a ‘family’ of **** ********. The word family has been re-defined in this neck of the woods to absent father (or two) one […]

O little town of Bethlehem.(sorry Basildon)

Jesus could not have been born in Basildon. After all, where on earth would you be able to find three wise men and a virgin in Basildon ? Basildon has long be one of the towns that gave chavdom to the world. People were ***** in Baz, long before anybody had dreamed of using the […]

Ipswich

Around the shops of Ipswich, ***** nestle, stealing any bike they can see. It doesn’t seem safe to live here any more. The little “think they’re hards” walk around, acting like they’re from london, threatening to mug you of anything, speaking so fast that they stutter constantly. Drinking special brew on street corners, even the […]

Norwich – A city for everybody, if your a ****.

So it’s Saturday morning, and there’s things to be done and things to be bought, so it’s into the city centre… Bad news. Dodging piles of vomit and dropped kebabs from the night before you make your way down to the city centre. First stop the Castle Mall. This monstrosity that takes up half the […]

Bedford, top of the class in ruining a perfect date!

Wanting to go on a date? Why not go to Bedford? You could go to Russell park and have sticks and joint butts thrown at you, probably to end up being chased away by the CRRC (The Castle Road Rude Crew) – an obnoxious bunch of 15 year olds running around with baseball bats. No? […]

Leighton Buzzard: without the boys in blue, ***** would be running the streets

Is leighton_buzzard a nice place to live or is leighton_buzzard rough?

I saw this town on the list and was amazed that nobody has actually posted on it. I have only ever been there a few times, although i often pass on the way to Milton Keynes. it is probably the most ****-******** hell hole i have ever seen. One day, unfortunately I was not present, […]