As a newcomer to this site I’m flabbergasted to find no reports on Romford market, the hell-hole that **** east Londoners thinks is a posh step up the retail ladder. It’s crappy shops, fast food ‘restaurants’ and theme (the theme being ****) pubs attract a multitude of **** visitors from all over north/east London and Essex. All […]
Category: Essex
The worst places to live in Essex
Saffron Walden, unlikely candidate
Saffon Walden, lying near the Essex / Cambridgeshire border, was recently labelled the best place to live in Britain. It is indeed a pleasant town… until dusk. This remnant of Olde England is now heavily polluted by *****, who take over the town’s pubs and cause such trouble at chucking-out time that the local police […]
Clacton-On-Sea
Clacton is full of *****. Everywhere you look is a ****. I can’t stand it anylonger, everywhere I go I am tourmented by them (by the way i am not an old granny complaning, im 29). Personally, I think that someone should clean those ***** up and stop them from getting up to mischieve, I […]
Burnham On Crouch
Maldon, Essex
Maldon, on the Blackwater estuary, a once nice town with elderly residents, now a premier hole. The centre of both of the ***** lives is The Plume (which any decent person doesn’t go to and if they have to go to a comprehensive and want a decent education go to Sandon), where they learn how […]
Hornchurch and Brentwood
Ill educated guffawing buffoons. The amount and stupidity of ***** in Brentwood and Hornchurch is absolutely appalling. One night i was at a rock club in Brentwood which usually occupies about 200 people, and about 60 ***** turn up with their nike hats and council house facelifts, expecting to and threatening to, **** everyone there. It’s […]
Rayleigh – Developing Chavtown
As many other towns around Essex start to spiral out of control it is Rayleigh that is often overlooked by critics. With violence escalating and the hoards of hooded gangs slowly dominating the streets it is not long before the once quaint town of Rayleigh is transformed into yet another ghetto of in-bred *****’s and […]
Great Baddow
Great Baddow is to be found within the confines of Chelmsford. Too close to avoid being consumed by a giant housing estate, containing some of the chaviest ***** you would (not) wish to come into contact with. The ‘centre’ of Baddow is the lovely ‘Vineyards’ shopping ‘centre’. This was constructed in the 1960’s and is […]
Stanford-Le-Hope
‘Stanford-Le-Hope’ in recent years has acquired the nickname ‘Stanford-NO-Hope’ largely due to its enormous **** population. It’s mainly on a Friday night that the ****’s emerge from their council owned slums. They come out in their thousands armed with PenKnifes, Gold chains, Baseball caps, bags of weed (which they’ve stolen from their step-dad’s plantation in […]
Harlow, Essex.
Here we have Harlow – the most Chavtastic Town of them all… Its a total ****-magnet with its classy food establishments (Maccy D’s and Piggy’s cafe) making it one of the most desired areas for any type of ****. In Harlow your never far from a JobCentre Plus or the local Poundstretcher – allowing your […]
Chelmsford
People have described chelmsford quite well in other posts, but i thought i’d share what happened to me a while back. I was happily walking to work minding my own business, trying not to get my suit wet in the rain when i heard a noise like 4 tractors having a ********. I turned my […]
Epping made me weep
What in heaven’s name is happening to this country? Recently my wife and I visited Epping, the town where we grew up, and took a walk down the High Street. It used to be a wonderful experience, full magic and mystery. The cattle market; two sweet shops (including The Golden Iris, a glorious little wonky […]