I grew up in the small village called Carlin How and I can say that I had a great childhood there, playing down the woods and camping up at “Texas” and all that, it was great!
Yet to my surprise, going back there this year I was in shock and awe at what I had become of my little village!
It has seem to have declined rapidly. Hardly any shops and the streets are now like walking through Beirut. The local boozer I used to hang out in is called The Maynard Arms which was the place to be and always had a great night there! I ventured in and was met by the largest man I have ever seen to date! He looked liked he had eaten a whole cow! I asked for a beer and he reached behind the bar and offered me a can from a 24 pack that I imagine he had bought from Loftus whole sale! The carpet was sticky and the whole place stank of a mix between urine, vomit and weed!
The streets of this village are littered with broken bottles and general **** either high or drunk and don’t dare to look anyone in the eye or you end up being gobbed off at or in a fight which results in your windows being put through.
I saw one of my oldest friends and could not believe my eyes when he took me to his place and was still living in his parents attic space! To my ultimate disbelief, he introduced me to his girlfriend who is only 16 and my friend is in his 40’s? Some how this is not frowned upon in the village and must be common place it seems.
The locals are now career alcoholics and wake up in the AM after a heavy night drinking to travel far from their homes to one of the watering holes which is “The Woking mans club” (no pun intended as none of these people work) then to The Maynard followed by The Bullet after that home for a few more cans, **** the wife and vomit on the kids and bed, to start all over again.
While I was back, I actually saw a lady so drunk outside of The Maynard she was asleep in the middle of the road. People outside where taking no notice as I asked one of them shouldn’t we take her out of the road or what ever the reply was “Nah its okay she gets like this sometimes”. Blown away I went inside and asked the owner to help me move her and was met with the usual grunts and muttering and eventually some one helped me move her. The lady was in a real bad way and apparently as she told me her house has ****, which I thought was rather disturbing and a little none surprising to be completely honest.
There was a family living on Maynard Street who have all but moved out from there yet the father remained to this year and had to be moved out because in the 40 years or so that he had lived in this house he had done nothing to it. Not even added central heating. He was super happy when his house was sold as he stated that this was the cheapest house in the UK to be ever sold. I was a little shocked by this statement as this is nothing in the least to be proud of what so ever as the house still to this day has the original door on it, un painted, rotting and damp.
So is the decline of little Carlin How. You do see this through and through the whole of the UK, with its dim look on life and stupid ideas.
Carlin How the pimple on the bottom of the world…
