Cannock, reknowned as the **** capital of the UK, but unfortunately this isn’t far from the truth.

This place has great **** spots where you can see them beating the **** out of the locals, the council workers, and not forgetting each other too. The reason why I say you can see them beating the **** out of each other, etc, etc, is because the local church is situated right in the middle of town, and in the middle of spring and summer, the likes of kind floke and people who wanna have fun can do so in the church yard, where the ***** are frightened to go anywhere near it.

They are unfortunately spread across the entire town though, where they are in the shopping centrem and around it, shouting ‘You ******* *******’ and other quotes just as stupid and mindless. You can also find them at your local somerfield as well, as the underpass is right next too it, so they like to join up with their other **** ****** friends at the underpass by somerfield, to intimidate and shout stupid pharses at the somerfield staff.

And also not forgetting the fact that you’ll also find them at every ***** favourite spot, the local bus station and also at the local wetherspoons, which is a bit of a dissapointment because the wetherspoons there was actually a great place to meet up with friends.

Any other places you’ll find them then is at retail park outlets, but these are considered out of town.

U should find them at your local boop, boop, boop, boooooop, bo, bop, I’m chaving it mcdonalds too.

The only unfortunate part is you can’t find them where you want them, say for example at the new M6 toll road, where the A5 and A34 meet, and you wish you could actually throw some of these **** ******** off the overpass onto the toll road ( or was that a dream I had about them once).

So, you have been adviced that this place is the capital, so I advice you to keep ur distance, and if your already in this god for saken **** town, and aren’t a ****, I recommend you move over to the chase, as it is reknowned for its peace and quite.

Unfortunatley i live in Hednesford not far from Cannock… (the **** capital of britain) i am surrounded by ***** daily. You can guarantee that every time you step foot of your frount door, you will see a ****. In Cannock ***** will normally wear a Pair of Rockfort boots, tracksuit bottoms (aka trackies) tucked into their checkered socks, a hoody with a number on the front or the Upper class **** sports a new youk yankies one… this is all topped off with a burberry cap resting on top of their head peak pointing towards the sky and a 90 degree angle… a typical chavett will wear fake gold hoop earings bigger than their head… clothes will be purchased from the £6 shops in the local “in shops” where they sell a range of tacky clothes which chavetts love to wear when they go out to drink their “cider” on the local park of an evening… i recently visited the local **** night spot Know as SILKS where some local smack head harrased me just because i dont shop at spot on fashions… this is very true…

All ***** have silly nicknames like “mank”, “Egg-head” and “norton”…
Their is also a local **** “possey” called the Silent But Deadly Crew… thats sounds more like a fart to me… but ***** do smell like farts or “hugo Bross” (a fake from brownhills market.

You may be wondering y i no so much about the **** society… well unfortunatly i live with one… her street name is POLO (pants off legs open) she gained the name from going to the aqua and chasers (local unders yob discos) where its a competition to see who can shag the most fellow ***** and get pregnant first…

If you are visiting Cannock Avoid touching any park benches or phone boxes and if you have young children do not let them loose on the park as someone may piddle on them.

take spare clothes where ever you go its not worth risking what **** diseases u could catch if they touch u!!!

Well, i can’t believe this place hasn’t been mentioned already. As a new mover to the area i was horrified when confronted by a wave wannabe ‘ard’s ******* around the bus station, street corners and anywhere else that allowed the resident **** to congregate. Unfortunately, that seems to be pretty much most places in cannock. Its not that cannock has worse **** **** than anywhere else, its just that being a **** seems to become about as widespread as most of the ********* legs! Don’t be surprised to see a **** baby in a burberry pram, wearing a baby **** baseball cap backwards!! (And yes, i really did see this – and to make it worse, the young teen **** **** in question was pushing the young no-hoper around the town centre at 11pm on a wednesday night!! Obviously she’d run out of illuminous orange face powder, and was desperate need of another kilo to paste on to her ****** face!

Its a shame that Cannock Chase can’t be utilised by the council and a new **** Hunting Season be introduced where we send the burberry boys into the forest and give them five minutes to run away before chasing after them with bloodhounds. Mind you, a **** normally has trouble running anywhere cos his unlaced kickers are about as useful for running in as a **** in an IQ test!

Avoid Chadsmoor, parts of Pye Green and Hednesford on any nights where the Under 18’s disco is on – unless you have a particular need to see the entire **** population of cannock turn up in cars that look like someones attacked them with ridiculous body kits made out of papier mache and plastercine, and the ********* wearing skirts that make wind socks look fashionable!

Eugh!