***** are people we have come to poke fun at and ridicule because of their zany fashion sense and wacky behaviour, but the Birkenhead equivalent especially those that live in the North End and on the Ford Estate (or Beechwood as it’s now called) are barely even human.

These ******** that hang around Birkenhead are NOT repeat NOT *****, honestly. I was born in St Catherines hospital in Tranmere, and lived on the Ford Estate, in Prenton and Upton then eventually ended up in West Kirby before leaving home. I know Birkenhead personally and i would never give those ******* the benefit of putting them in any particular class, even the lowest class of all, **** Class. If they were even remotely aware of the **** phenomenon, they would wish they were part of it, however they are so much lower than that.

Unless your mum is in birkenhead and is on her death bed and you need to see her before you die, never go to Birkenhead. Acually forget that, even your dying mother isn’t worth visiting Birkenhead for.

You get bombarded with such a fake scouse accent everywhere, as they’re all trying to be ‘harder’ than Liverpudlians. and i genuinely think that the trackie bottoms tucked into the socks thing was invented in Birkenhead, so all us **** haters have even more of an excuse for hating Birkonian “Scallies” as they’re commonly known.

I will have more to say on the matter, but i can’t fit my whole life experience of chavvie/scally **** on this one post.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Members and Guests! I welcome you to YET ANOTHER **** town addition to Birkenhead, Merseyside!

Im just your average person, you know? just jeans and t-shirt / shirt, boots or trainers that I think look nice and comfortable and not for the label and I tend to wear a denim jacket or a leather. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I live in Tranmere, a district in Birkenhead and trust me, through my 17 years of hell living in this place I can tell you all you need to know about scousers, *****, assholes and god only knows whatever else is living and mutating here.

I went to park high school, when it all began. I got bullied, attacked, spat on, abused, you name it. Of course I did not stand for it and I came back eventually, but I soon came to learn the true evil of this place and it consisted of 3 elements: “trackies” – “fake scouse accents” – “**** noise they think is music”.

It was so sudden that this brand, lacoste suddenly sprung up out of the ground with these ***** putting on stupid accents and wearing £2 coins on each finger and wanting to be a Mr.T and suddenly fashion and music became a holy war. If you listen to motorhead, metallica and green day, you get stabbed. If you listen to eminem, 50 cent and rave, you are “sound”. If you listen to 80’s music, you are **** up. If you dress in trackies, labels and £2 coins, you’re “sound”. If you dress in jeans, shirt and boots/trainers, you are looked at and laughed at behind your back. If you’re hair is longer than 1mm, you get asked if you’re a girl. This could go on.

Now I admit, I do my clothes shopping in either Burton, Top man or Matalan as I seriously don’t care what is on me as long as I am comfortable. Now I am doing a health and social care course at college and I don’t get much bother so im ok and don’t run into any trouble – except at work. I am a volunteer youth worker for a youth club who specialises for members (13 – 25yrs) with disabilities and ***** pass the place every night. They are heartless ******** who pick on even the most vulnerable of people, even old ladies if they had the chance and I have stood infront of the entrance and blocked them passage, only to suffer verbal abuse until I glare at them and “offer them out” LOL what a stupid thing to say. One of them told me he’ll, “bang me” lol what a fool.

Well thats all for today’s addition. Remember! stay away from half price jeweler customers and cherish your £2 coins! some ***** in a “trackie” might want to try and bum you for it!

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right ok for a start ,reading the other reviews of birkenhead theese have obviously been writen by sum posh half a ******* **** with long hair who had mosher shouted at him from a distance and cried , at least theese people told you to your face an didnt sit in there box room masturbating an decided theyd have a sly stab at somone between tugs, nonetheless theese ******** SCALLIES (not ***** sorry lol) are complete ***** and a large proportion of birkenhead is a ***** pool however it is not the fooking ghetto! lol jus 5 minutes away from where i live is a hugely private school populated area with enourmous victorian style semi mansion things full of execeptionaly over privaliged twats (providing wot must be atleast 70% of all weed purchases in birkenhead) with nursing /old peoples homes an is genraly very sleepy but further down is a bit of a ***** and heres the guide:
birkenhead town centre is a ******* cess pool.
in the day its writhing with 7 ft 13 year olds obviously born into nuclear waste were they got there powers of bein harder than everyone else.
shaved heads all round as is the standard .racist biggot small minded mother ******* who i swear in there 6-8 years of living in the precinct have never bought a ******* thing!there pushy intimidating and whatever your do DO NOT MAKE EYECONTACT! especialy if there pissed off there windpipes on white lightning cos then off course u called there mum a **** or made sweet love to there nans rotting corpse which then gives them the right to **** the ***** out of you. oh yes please try not to be black,indian(espiecialy if you own some kind of shop then ure in for it “i gave you a tenner ****!” ” you havent even orderd yet?” SMACK!) or any other minority for that matter.do not be a mosher/goth/emo any of that kind of denomination. dont look up when your walking thats a sign of cockyness, dont look at the floor then your ignoring them, dont let them sit behind you on the bus then your jus a silly ******** lol 🙂 basicly stay indoors and you will be fine.
the nightlife of birkenhead has to eb said is ******* infamous and whats strange is that the people to be feard are not the drunks ******* round inside the dodgy peter kay esque bars dotted round the place its the 13/17 year old ***** outside in packs of about 300 drinking cider and starting fights : theese people just wander round looking to start ****.can anyone answer me what the **** is up with that??!! this is a true account of what happend to me on the way back home walking through downtown (after gettin bladderd on cider lol 😛 but thats not what im against its the unexplained mindless violence thats happens when theese people cud be pissing no one off sitting in a gutter chukling to themselves) so a huge group of lads approaches me and my friend and started saying to him that we had been ” flicking lighters in the cousins face” we both emptied are pockets and had absolutly NOTHING on us accept i had a ciggy and even asked one of them for a light because i didnt have one.then there little cousins come belting down the road(in the opposite direction to which we’d came a mite ad) ‘saying nope its not them’but unfortunatly for my friend he was dressed as a mosher an there attention soon moved to him so he bailed off up the road.me thinking a wus mister swarve an one of them i me tracky (oh yer ;)) stayed.gave 3 of them a ciggy so we stood and smoked the next thing was ‘so ya think u can flick lighters at me little cousin nobed!!!!!!!’ bang! bang! bang! nd they all **** the **** out of me : destroying my trust in anyone or bein outside in birkenhead at night ever again.huge portions of the town are just borded up rubble were people still seem to live in mass? its ******* nuts you wonder were theyve come from. some of the estates realy are actualy like serious ghetto material were i would never set foot on. ive lost my trial of thought cos am stoned as a pigeon on smack but anyways birkenhead is ***** and not everyone who wears a tracky is a **** who wants to hurt you allthough saying that its probly best not to aproach them offering hugs just incase.anyways dont come to birkenhead unless you have miliions and millions of pounds to rebuild it.
peace 😉 spread da love get high everyday!
😀

like le coq sportiff, velour and really cheap looking ugg boots? then birkenhead is the place to be! If you dream of dropping a sprog before the age of consent then you really should consider relocating to this small town, across the river mersey from liverpool. There is nothing like the fear and dread that one feels as they button up their coats and step onto the **** stained streets of this town. How many pound shops can i cram in today? will any abuse be hurled at me? How many of these people have washed in the last week? But it’s not all bad, there are fabulous bars like ‘rockys’ and ‘sherlocks’ where these pregnant young ladies may be seen in all their glory, dressed in fluorescant clothes sipping on a triple vodka and smoking a superking. Just be careful that you dont look at anyone as you may be shanksed in the face!

Trend-setting **** capital of Britain……..showing the rest of the **** world what next season’s fashion will be!

As you move away from Birkenhead’s ****-ridden town centre and enter suburbia, the **** enters its entrepreneurial state. Around Prenton Park the business-savvy scally offers to mind your car for on on match days, even if it is parked in a lockable garage on your own property. Declining this generous offer often results in the aforemention ***** playing kerby up against the garage door once the match starts.

Furthermore, in what might be seen as a respectable, well-heeled part of Birkenhead (yes, it is possible) there is the curse of the underage drinking Burberry/Fila combo waiting outside every off-license requesting that you take their 2 quid and emerge with a bottle of White Lightning for them. Failure to do so results in a barrage of abuse from a load of 12 year olds.

The Birkenhead **** evolves…..a few years ago the cigarette of choice was Regal, drink of choice was Stella and clothing of choice Berghaus fleece. The rest of the **** country was just catching up with shell suits, while the Wirral scally pioneered on and on. The Burberry style emerged on Mersyside first.

Let’s hope that Wirral Borough Council claims a first too and rounds them all up. Perhaps an exchange program with some Albanian refugees is an attractive option….

possibly one of the earliest **** towns to exist. Birkenhead is the second capital of Merseyside and is just across the water (oh Ferry cross the Mersey etc) from Liverpool. Used to be known for its shell-suits and scallies- this culture has now evolved into what can only be described as Proffesional Chavism. This spralling mass of a dock town is a run down **** and ******** nightmare. The main shopping Centre is called ‘The Pyramids’ and each and every shop has its own security guard. But don’t worry- if they can’t steal their new clothes here they can buy them from the famous
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