Amlwch

Tucked away in the idyllic Isle of Anglesey in North Wales, exists a hub of **** Activity. The town of Amlwch, otherwise known as the gates of hell, is filled to the brim with chavtastic examples of Britain’s burgeoning underclass.

Where to begin….

Firstly you have your fourth rate **** breed, those who wear blinding white trainers bought at the local market with their hard-earned dole money. They stalk the streets searching for cheap cider and forage for a mate at the bus stop.

That brings me nicely to the female fourth-rate ****. Your stereotypically overweight, **** facelift minger sporting kappa (Amlwch is in a time warp you see), dazzling her male admirers with a fine chunk of flesh bulging over the waistband.

Now these vulgar, pathetic and **** creatures thrive in their natural habitats, the park, kwiksave, and around the several dive pubs in the area. Avoid this place, pretty much easily done since its so far away from anything of interest the only chance of you ever going there is if you’re really really lost.

This place lacks the **** novelty of other towns, it’s beyond that and just strikes you as plain pathetic. Perhaps a merciful act will lead to it being redeveloped into a far more useful thing, a car park springs to mind.

Forget this place. Time has.