Often seen as blip on the map of Britain, Tewkesbury has become a spawning ground for an abudance of sub humanoid species. Tewkesbury (or rather chucks-bury as the local dim wits entail) is spilt into several districst as most ********* are; Priors Park and Northway provide shelters for the highest density of disgust whilst Newtown and Mitton provide a slight relief (note slight) and the Bovis areas are some what in-between.
As per usual each Friday and Saturday night’s frolockings provide the added risk or buzz of **** baiting (or more often avoiding). Strolling down past the back of Safeways (or is it morrisons now?) we encounter our first pocket of filth, with an alcove near the back exit providing enough shelter from which to roll the quick backie n rizla, and of course space enough for up to 3 (although probaly more have attempted) to relive themselves in.
Continuing past Safeways we discover the hidden car park (incase of floods) which is quite convieniantly at he end of a 150-200m road normally unused but as this time of the evening used as a track for boy racers and moped enthusiates a like.
Finally arriving in town we go through the usual padestrianised district to reach the Highstreet. En route we get the usual demands for ciggys and requests to stop dressing like it is Halloween (well I get that, most of mates just get the unsurprising Greb label).
After purchasing some pleasure stimulants from the Wine Rack we make the migration past Montells, the up market **** hang out (I use up market with some generosity), outside which normally are several older ***** discussing either which one has the hardest skull or whose seen the highest skirt that night.
With the musical chants of ***** bickering fading into the background (so thats how rap was discovered) we finally reach the safety (no pun intended) of the Black Bear.
(will update soon with tales of the distressing activities of ***** standing next to food outlets and the dreded walk home.)
