ILKESTON (ILSON)

An old run down piece of ***** town in Derbyshire in between both Derby and Nottingham. Full of free masons and pure twats and *******. You come to Ilkeston or (ilson) and you will find nothin but fat ******* mothers walkin down the high street in ridiculisly tight trackies so you can see theyre nice cheap tacky £2 thong they got from YMCA.
Every year theyres an annual fair where groups of ***** from neighbouring suburbs like Kirk Hallam, and Cotmanhay come down for an annual dose of drugs, (Smack, coke, weed, or anything they find) and the amount of crimial behaviour that goes on.

The nigh tlife is pox 2, you say hello to a woman (i.e a single mum resembling a monster) and they will either tell you to “**** off ****” or go and try and fight you haha.
The town would not be complete without the pub THE POPLAR. Just go in there, and see for yourself how much of a hole in the ground it is, please, you have to see it to believe it.
When or if you ever go to Ilson, dont forget to wipe your feet on the way out!!!!