I suppose the first thing to look at when considering the **** towns is location. And MY GOD i think Warrington could have THE ********* location in the whole of the UK, maybe even the world!!! For the humble Warratonian finds themselves Aqui distance between Liverpool and Manchester!!! Or Liverpeeewl and Manches-tor, as the locals would have you believe. The consequences of such a geographical position are huge, the inevitable overspill from each city means that we now are experiencing a crossbreed!!!! MUTANTS!!!
These Mutant ***** are super human, they can steal, breed, and “knock you the f*ck out” in lightening speed that the less superior **** from can only dream about. I personally knew a **** back when i was a wee bairn who we shall call “Tommo” he lived on an estate that was “rougher than a bears ****” called Grassmere. He impregnated 6 women and girls within 5 months, his unprotected reign of horror ending only when he was invited to take a long holiday at her majestys expense -and all this at the tender age of 17 years old. His “tag” still proudly adourns many a bustop and steel shutter of the local chippy.
The Warrington **** enjoys many different night time hang out spots, depending on age range, disposable income etc… The younger ***** who havent yet resorted to profitable crime and therefore find themselves financially able to stretch only to a 1 litre bottle of White lightening and 10 Mayfair (shared between 3 of course) enjoy the completely free pastime of making Warringtons parks, shop entrances and bustops a no go area. A friend of mine was recently surrounded by a gang of ***** while waiting for a bus in “downtown” Orford. The main **** the stepped forward with a small but cocky looking **** who turned out to be main ***** “bruvvor”.
Main ****: “Hit ma bruvvor in the face”
My friend: “Erm..no?”
Main ****: “Hit him or Ill f*ckin Tw*t ya”
My Friend Cleverly sees this is a trick so throws caution to the wind punches the mini **** and is promptly set upon by 7 or 8 chavvers.
The older ***** who by now have realised that crime is not just an enjoyable hobby but also a source of income can now afford to travel into town on a saturday night and frequent many cattle markets down the main street, slowly but surely making his or her way to the **** mecca the infamous “Mr Smiths” A night club of epic proportians, made famouse by cheesey 80s TV show, Hitman and Her. Its always a guaranteed “quality” night out, where ***** “dance” between bottling and biting each other, and always get lucky in the bushes outside as long as the ******** does not stir from her WKD induced stupor.
