Sedgley is a town in the west midlands which is near to larger towns like Dudley and Wolverhampton. It is swarming with ***** and the town’s **** population is increasing by the day.

The town centre in Sedgley has three **** invested pubs in the Bull Ring area. The Court House is an ancient pub which has been there for about 200 years and with the high crime levels in Sedgley its a shame the Court House isn’t a crown court like it used to be. ***** as young as 13 get served in there by using fake ID’s but the bar staff will serve just about anyone because there has been so many problems with aggressive customers losing their temper with bar staff who won’t serve them. Underneath the Court House is a passageway which runs under the traffic island into the basement of the Red Lion which used to be a prison but has long been turned into a pub. The Court House is another ****** pub where ***** mostly underage go to get blind drunk. Sedgley town centre’s third ********* pub is the Clifton which is part of the posh Wetherspoon chain but hardly any posh people go there because it is crowded with ***** who take advantage of the cigarette machine if they can’t get served in an off licence like Virks or Hadens. The man in Virks now serves **** and booze to anyone and most evenings you can catch about 10 or 15 ***** crowding outside with a can of beer and a ***.

Now a bit about some ****** estates in Sedgley.

The Beacon estate is a slum of old council houses occupied by mostly **** families who dump rubbish on eachothers gardens and leave rusting old bangers on their driveways. One family on the estate had a feud with their neighbours and the son and his mate ending up getting thrown into prison for setting another neigbours house on fire.
Another family on the Beacon have 2 teenaged daughters who have about 5 babies between them each off different fathers. Some of the worst families on the estate never wash themselves or their homes and turn the whole place into a cesspit.
Beacon Hill at the top of the estate is a dumping ground for litter and stolen cars. ******* have paid a visit to the hill many times and always leave a mountain of rubbish behind when they move on.

Tudor estate off the Dudley Road is a ****** old council estate like the Beacon. It is at the back of county wallpapers an old cinema which sells cheap wallpaper to the hard up people living in the area. One **** on the Tudor has spent the last 5 years spray painting his name all over Sedgley and spraying insults about how his enemies stink like a curry house.

Next to the Tudor is a much newer estate which has always been called Giro City because the whole estate lives on benefits. It is home to some of Sedgley’s ********* people including some who spend their lives roaming the streets shouting abuse at residents and throwing bricks at windows. The Giro joins onto a big field where ***** race around on stolen motorbikes and set abandoned cars on fire. A few years ago in the early days of ***** a 20 strong gang of ***** from the Giro lifted a battered old Metro on top of a wall and left it there until it fell off the ball and was crushed to a pulp. ***** can often be seen crowding around cars on the estate driven by adults who will sell them booze and **** which they wouldn’t get anywhere else. Giro estate only appeared in the last 15 years but its already one of the most notorios council estates in the country.

About 2 miles from Sedgley town centre in the Gornalwood area is the Boundry Hill estate which is yet another crumbling old council estate full of *****. 99% of the people at Boundry Hill don’t have a garage so their cars are left outside where they can be stolen. The fields near Boundry Hill around Ellowes Hall school littered with burnt out cars which were stolen by local *****.

There are 2 private estates in Sedgley noted for *****, Brownswall and Northway. Cabin pub on the Northway used to be popular with ***** until a mean new landlord arrived earlier this year and banned under 18’s from even entering the pub. He paid for his meanness when a gang of young ***** scratched his car with a brick end. The car park outside the Cabin and the shops that join onto it is a sort of exhibition zone for ****** cars most nights. Several older ***** on the estate show off their bodykitted Corsa’s and 206’s which are the spitting image of the modified cars you see in Maxpower magazine. There was also a decrepit old Vauxhall Astra from the Beacon which used to make an appearence until December 2003 when the driver was off guard for one second. A gang of older ***** jumped into the car and drove it away with the owner stranded on the car park. The Astra was later found torched at the side of the Dudley Road.

There are two **** families on the Brownswall, one on Brownswall Road with 3 kids who run the streets and fight their neighbours and another by the deserted football field whose son has been known to the local police since he was 10 years old for spraying grafhiti, getting into street fights threatening his neighbours. The wife is easily recognisable as she is about 50 and looks and dresses like Tina Turner. He did time in prison after video cameras captured him spraying his name all over shop windows.

There are some famous grafhiti words which have sprung up since the **** revolution in Sedgley some years ago. TOAF or TOFF is a tag which was invented by a group of ***** targeting another boy who was the richest in his class and the only boy in his class who went to church. Toaf spread across the midlands and has also been rumoured to have spread abroad. The same gang of ***** have also invented the tag BORIS which refers to a Russian looking boy from Sedgley. One of the gang even painted Boris on an electricity substation outisde the boy’s house on the Brownswall estate at the other side of Cotwall End valley to Boundry Hill. 2RANK and BASE were barely readable tags which appeared in Sedgley and most of the midlands about 3 years ago and nobody has ever discovered who the culprit was. SIBBO is a local **** who sprays his tag all over the midlands and is so famous for it that nobody knows his real name. TURLEY is one of the veteran ***** in Sedgley whose tag is sprayed on just about every wall, shutter and door in the town. BURNSY is another of Sedgley’s veteran ***** who has spent most of his life daubing his tag all over the place without even being caught.

A bit about the schools in Sedgley.

Dormston near the town centre is one of the ********* schools in the UK. The ***** who go there don’t give a damn about it until they are kicked out and can’t stay away from the place. They sell cheap **** to the school’s youngest ***** who don’t stand a chance of getting served even at Virks. They then attract the attention of the staff at Dormston who tell them to go away but the ***** don’t go away until the police come. ***** have also paid visits to the school out of school hours by climbing over the prison like fence and smashing windows. The new Dormston sports arts centre is already a vandalized shack even though it was only built 5 years ago, although some of it was the work of the school’s pupils. I’ve heard a story that ***** at the school started to wreck the classroom blocks to get revenge on the headmaster who banned them from wearing burberry caps.

High Arcal is a few hundred yards down the road from Dormston off the Tipton Road. It is surrounded by the fields which lead to the Giro and Valley estates. Teachers are always on guard at the gates at the start of school, the end of school, at break and at lunch, so there’s no drug dealing at the gates here. But the rest of the school is surrounded by a high fence where older ***** used to hand over **** and sometimes even booze and drugs to the mini *****. All of this stopped when the strict headmaster found out and had CCTV fitted in order to stop his pupils being given drugs. The odd vandal breaks in and makes their mark on the classroom blocks at High Arcal but I hear that the vandalism at Dormston is miles worse.

Ellowes Hall is about 2 miles from Sedgley on the Boundry Hill council estate. There was once a time when parents collecting their children in cars couldn’t park anywhere near the gates because so many drug dealers were ******* about. When they were told to clear off the dealers **** around the surrounding fields and passed drugs through the fences. That’s going back quite a few years now. Ellowes Hall’s biggest problem is now ***** who rule the school and drag its name down. I hear that the headmaster at Ellowes has surrendered in his war of ***** because the more he tried to stop them from wearing Burberry the more they wore it.

Down in Woodsetton which is almost in Tipton there are hardly any ***** at all. The pubs are swarming with old men who sit up the corner and drink a pint of beer without having to watch out for flying beer bottles or bar stools which are being thrown by underaged ***** who are angry for being refused alcohol.

If it wasn’t for the Woodsetton area then Sedgley should be renamed Chavtown UK but that title should go to Dudley.

**** utopia! every corner has around 30-40 ***** faggin it and tryin to look like gangsters when they actually look like members of a group *** colony masturbating in public (cos’ their hands spend more time by their crotches or in some extremely sad cases actually DOWN their pants).
It’s not fake burberry by us either, it’s white nike baseball caps with blue lines and dotted lines up the side. Don’t go near them, RESEARCH HAS UNCOVERED SEVERAL PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN DISEASES!!!!!!
Oh yes the places they hang out well, I live opposite a park and every night its full of them, if you stand on top of the hill at the entrance its a sea of nike, adidas and burberry. If you have your head screwed on and are not a ****, and you go down there the usual greeting you get are shouts of “GREEBO GREEBO GREEBO” then obviously you feel obliged to yell ” **** **** ****!!!” but then you need to start running, not because they will **** you up because everyone knows ***** are wimps, far from it my friend, its actually the **** smell, ****, alcohol and cheap knock-off aftershave, plus when they pile on top of you the weight of their so-called “bling” will cease your heart from beating.(plus some ***** are fat bas***ds, nobody likes to be jumped on by a fat ****…)
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Sedgley is a **** town in central England about 4 miles north of Dudley and about 5 miles south of Wolverhampton. It used to be a village in the south staffordshire countryside but now its a chavtown in the grimy west midlands conurbation.

Nearly all of Sedgley’s top ****/******** hang outs are around the town’s Bull Ring – a traffic island which many years ago held bull fighting competitions. There’s a posh wine bar called the Clifton, part of the JD wetherspoon pub chain, which *****/********* hardly ever go in although ******* often put in an appearance – with their horse and cart waiting outside. The best **** hang out in Sedgley is the Red Lion, directly opposite the Clifton, which was once a village pub but is now the **** capital of Sedgley. ***** and *********, including some very sexy girls, go there every night to get drunk. There’s often fighting in the Red Lion, especially when there’s a football match on the big screen – recently about 30 people (mostly *****) were arrested for their part in a drunken clash with hells angels after England lost a game at Euro 2004. When there isn’t a fight inside the Red Lion then there’s usually a lot of action around the town centre afterwards. ***** and ********* get into fights and end up putting their enemies in hospital and themselves behind bars. ***** and ********* have loads of fun around Sedgley much to the expense of non-*****/*********. A gang of about 20 ***** aged 15-16 threw snowballs at a van full of ******* in February 2003 and got chased several hundred yards around Sedgley before running back into school and chucking a few even heavier snowballs back at their pursuers. And the Dormston youthclub was recently a training ground for Sedgley’s toughest *****, it had to close in 2001 because ***** and ********* kept chucking bricks at it and spraying their name all over it – the name Turley was sprayed on the youth club about 20 times (it’s been painted about 1,000 times in the rest of Sedgley). It’s since been partly rebuilt and the Dormston youthy is now a great hang out for ***** and *********, they can spend 3 hours a night playing snooker and ******* around outside getting drunk.

Northway Estate in Sedgley is another **** hang out. It’s a fairly upmarket area of mostly private houses built in the 1960’s but it’s most famous for being a ****** part of Sedgley. ***** and ********* from all over Sedgley hang around there at night, smashing up the telephone box after getting drunk on booze available from the Cabin pub. Bar staff at the Cabin are real generous, they even serve 11 years olds. Best of all the ***** and ********* hurl bricks at the shop windows especially the window of the fish and chip shop, Northway Fish Bar, which closed about 2 years ago because the owner was fed up of having his windows stoned by *****. So the ***** scored a winner over the trader by doing him out of business. That was really something for the Sedgley ***** to be proud of.

Brownswall Estate right next to the Northway is another **** hang out although they hardly ever go anywhere near the houses. The ***** sometimes let off fireworks on the estate’s playing fields, much to the annoyance of the old people living in the nearby bungalows – although one of Sedgley’s most famous tearaways lives into a bungalow right by the fields. ***** as young as 10 often hang out by the estate’s shops, persuading older kids to buy them booze before they smash the bottles up. But the best **** hangout at Brownswall is by the garages of Sandyfields Road, where ***** and ********* hang out all night spraying grafhiti on the electricity sub station. You can often catch some of the sexiest girls in Sedgley at this **** hang out although the surroundings are anything but sexy – grafhitied sub station, burnt fences and dented garage doors plus the occasional burnt out old banger.

Sedgley is a top **** town, where the ***** can buy cheap cars off street corners for a few pounds each. Cul de sacs on isolated housing estates are a common dumping ground for stolen cars and so is Tenacre Field which is known locally as the Tenny.
***** hang around the Tenacre Field at all hours, playing football, smoking, showing off their modified cars and spraying paint all over the kids playground. Last year they even pulled the rubber tyre off a swing and used it as fuel to help burn a trashy old car.

Sedgley has lost some of its top **** hangs out especially the safeway supermarket which was built in 1987. Its still there except its now a West Midlands C-op because it was sold off when Morrisons took over Safeway last year. In the good old days of being a **** hang out, Sedgley Safeway was the local canteen for most of Sedgley’s ***** and *********. They would dump their food containers and drinks cans at the side of Safeway and entertain themselves by lobbing stones onto the roof of Safeway – and they were never caught.

Mr Q’s pub in Gospel End Street is another top **** hang out although its beginnings nearly 200 hours ago were quite different – it was built in the early 19th century as a court of law until a new magistrates courts was built on the back of the police station around 1900. Since then it’s been a pub, first the Court House but since 1997 it’s been called Mr Q’s as its part of the trendy pub chain which dominates England. ***** don’t hang around Mr Q’s so much these days but even in the last 5 years ***** and ********* would spend many hours a night taking advantage of the cigarette machines (because the local shopkeepers wouldn’t serve them) and the really cheap yo-yos sold the by the landlord – remember that yo-yo crave a few years ago??? Best of all the ***** used to win loads of fights after the football matches on the big screen. But Mr Q’s has lost its place as the top **** hang out in Sedgley to the most unlikely of its rivals – The Red Lion.

Beacon Estate, a shabby 1930’s council estate near Sedgley town centre, is home to most of Sedgley’s ***** and *********. This is the most undesirable part of Sedgley to live in, so many houses go empty. And an empty house on the Beacon Estate becomes a training ground for ***** and ********* who spraypaint their names all over the boarded-up windows and doors. They also break down fences and scatter them all over the streets. The Beacon Hill is another **** hang out where the bravest ***** often climb up the 30 foot Beacon Monument built in 1848. Some of the bravest ***** even jump off the top to impress their ******** girlfriends.

If it wasn’t for school uniform then Dormston Secondary School in Sedgley town centre would the ********* school in England – nearly all of the pupils are ***** or *********. But it can’t be ****** because of the VERY strict headmistress who makes all pupils wear blazers, ties, shirts, trousers and normal shoes – NO trainers, hoodies or baseball caps allowed. HOW mean. Yet while the headmistress is having a go at *****/********* about their unfiroms the school’s grebos are attacking eachother and putting eachother in hospital, while the teachers do NOTHING about it. I should know what it’s like because I went there for 5 years!!!!! I was a **** out of school but in school there was nothing ****** about me or anyone else because the dress code was so strict!!!!! I was so glad when I left. But when I went back a few days after leaving to collect my school photo I was wearing ****** clothes and the headmistress sent me home to get changed because I should have been wearing school uniform….. even though I was no longer a pupil there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other than that, Sedgley is a really ****** town which would be even chavvier if it wasn’t for the strict dress code regulations of its schools.

Sedgley is a half decent local high street in the daytime. the variety of shops there is quite good and seems to be steadily improving with time BUT……….

Come the night time, particularly on Fridays and Saturdays it becomes a **** Hell Hole.

All the pubs are **** pubs really. even the Beacon Hotel which used to be a biker pub has been invaded somehow!

Here’s where you will mainly find the **** ***** in Sedgley –

Monty’s Wine Bar (what a ********!).
The Clifton (used to be a bingo hall, now a **** breeding ground and Class A ********).
The Courthouse/Mr Q’s (another ********).
The Red Lion (brimming with *****, more so when the bungee jumping is on, lets hope they forget about the elastic and just shove the ******* to their deaths from 150 feet).
Also The White Lion, The White Swan, The Swan plus plenty more.

Then There’s the Concord Market, for all your fake clothing needs, a Kwik Save, 3 Nail/Beauty shops for aspiring Jordans, Phone Boxes and Bus Shelters to punch and kick. the Four Seasons Kebab and Pizza shop and the Balti Bazzar right over the road from Monty’s and The Clifton so they dont have to walk like they’ve got something in their *** too far to get some food.

Sedgley also contains an absolutely useless Police Station that closes at night (around 9pm i think) so all the ***** and their ..ahem.. women can stagger about the high street threatening random passers by and feel “really hard” about it because there’s a police station right around the corner.

Even though it’s Closed.