Haslingden is a small **** ridden cess-pit in the north west of England, the local streets are literally blue with the scattering of white lightning cans and to walk down them is an act of either ultimate bravery or an act of someone with suicidal tendencies, the local ***** seem to be a rare breed seing as they do not actually cause much damage to each other, they tend to just push each other around call out a few insults then go home to their 14 yr wife an her kid saying how the other guy “got off lucky” and this breed similar to many others can not stand to be alone, they hang around in groups of less then 5.
Now all the goths/moshers/punks in the rossendale area have learnt that to walk the streets alone at night is pure suicide, unluckily a friend of mine not from the area didn’t know this and proceded to walk to my house from the local bus station, as he passed the local Tesco a couple of plastic Kick bottles were thrown at him (Kick is a cheaper version of red-bull that comes in 1 litre bottles and seems to have replaced White Lightning for the yunger chavss) this guy being about 6ft tall and a former bouncer was not bothered by this fact until this group of about 5 ***** decided to follow him, on reaching the roundabout the ***** surrounded him and procced to ask “wot a fookin goff was doin in ther hood?” (at this point I should point out that my friend doesn’t have the longest fuse and has a tendency too get annoyed quite quickly) when it took too long for my friend too reply the ***** proceeded to try and push him around, at this point the guy’s patience ended and he pushed the **** to the front of him to the ground than squared up to the one to his left, this **** proceeded to wet himself an run away, he was the smat one, his mates decided to stay and try and take down the guy themselves, they rushed him and what happened next I’m not quite sure but it ended up with my friend only having a bust lip, 2 of the ***** havving bust noses, black eyes and aching ribs and the remainders unable to move due to the extreme pain they were in, at this point my friend decided to leave in case more of their “crew” turned up, a coupe of days later I am walking through Rawtenstall when I spot the ***** in question, I knew who they were from the description my friend gave me, well these ***** were speaking to their parents claiming they were “jumped by a bunch o’ fookin moshers out Tesco for nuffin cos they was walkin home to do ther omework innit!” an when asked how many there were they all replied “oh ther wuss aboot ten least they all had hoods an black jeans on so unno wot they looked like.” I was trying not too piss myself laughing, any **** with an excuse that crappy deserves beating in my opinion, I only wish i’d been there to film it then I would have the first “goth happy-slap” vid
