So what part of Stafford has the most *****? Well there are a few competing areas, most people would in Stafford would automatically single out Highfields and **** capital but my personal vote goes to Moorefields. I have noticed that of the **** areas of Stafford it is the closest to Argos…. Oh come on you have to feel for them, they have to carry all of their bling-bling home…. Before you ask I live in Stafford and I am not afraid writing this article, how many ***** do you know that can read let alone use a computer….

I do have a confession to make…. I have married into a **** family, my wife was considered a ****, she didn’t get pregnant until after she was married. I must admit that our wedding was interesting, her family behaved themselves and didn’t start the fight until after we had left… My parents had spent a small fortune on the wedding so they didn’t have much money on them when they were mugged… The photographs were kinda ****, apparently the flash from the camera was reflected back from the 9crt gold sovereign rings and index gold plated bling…. At least their tracksuits matched, which was nice…I guess you could have called the morning tracksuits… I bet most of you think this is some kind of joke…. Hmmm just visit Moorefields…

My sister-in-law owns a pub in Stafford, I wont tell you which one…. But it is decked out in burberry (tasteful) and can be spotted by the number of boy racers in their Citrone Saxos with all of the 2.4 horse power, extra wide wheels and huge spoilers…. If only they could find a stereo that thumps out base that would make anyone else’s ears bleed…

Still it is always good to know that when you feel down and think your life is ****… you can always drive around Moorefields and look at the pond life and feel better about yourself. The only proviso I would add …. Lock your doors and don’t stop….

Highfields – Stafford South Central!

Located ten minutes from the centre of Stafford is Highfields, land of the damned where only the brave dare tread.
Deep in the heart of this dole-dossers paradise is the legendary Spar Shop where ***** and their ******** groupies lean against the windows intimidating elderly shoppers.
Uniform in these parts is the mandatory Carbrini hoodie, Adidas trackies from TK Maxx and New York Yankees baseball cap.
Highfields is an area for deprived ***** so there are no bling machines, the worst wheels on display include a crappy Nova conversion and a feeble re-sprayed blue punto.
Behind the Spar are residents’ garages which have been conquered by ***** and are covered in territorial graffiti such as ‘BWH rule yo *****’, ‘Mark H is a fat ****’ and ‘Eddies suck ****’.
It is here that ***** as young as ten learn the arts of rolling blunts and necking 20:20.
Forget the North End, forget Bethnal Green, Moss Side and Alum Rock;
this is Highfields,
BEWARE THE *****!!

Between The ‘North End and Town Centre
(more…)

Compared to many towns listed here, not very chavish at all. ( some opinions may vary)
BUT possibly a town on the edge of the cliff of Decency ******* on to the last branch of the tree of Reason, poised, legs dangling over the pit of ultimate chavness.

In addition to all the usual signs of chavness Stafford is getting to a point where there are just as many people in town during working hours as at the weekend, ( a horrifying scene witnessed also in stockport ) ******* around shoplifting and trying to mug people outside macdonalds.

New to kidchav fashion seems to be the BMX, which must be bought from the local halfords for 2 months dole money, ridden with the seat at the lowest possible setting.

Phrases heard in stafford…

Macdonalds:
Give me a fackin burger you cant!

Job centre/ Dole centre:
Give me ma many ya fackin cant av got 10 kids ta feed.

Victoria Park:
Oi ya cant give me sam fackin many/****/mobile phone

Has anyone else noticed the new mcdonalds tagline?
New menu, new people ( or somthing like that )
the one where they are trying to sell “chicken salads” and **** like that.
Have they suddenly noticed that their current customer base is 99& ****? hmm…

Main late night hangouts for ***** include Chicago Rock, Spoons, and the ultimate in chain **** clubs Zanzi(bar). Untill recently the ***** had another club called Reynolds, which was closed recently by the police who wanted to concentrate all **** related trouble ( friday night, a pint and a fight ) to the south end of the town. Which unforunately stopped access to Al Kharims, one of the finest kebab houses in the town. ( and one of the places you are most likely to get your head kicked in )

If you are an older ****, i.e. you have upgraded from tracksuit and trainers to trousers, ben sherman/ black with white collar and cuffs shirt, and stupid shiny buckle shoes, the south of the town is the place to be, usually drinking from about mid-day in spoons, in large male groups.

Although recently during the football wetherspoons actually banned football shirts, another often element of **** fashion. This was nice for about a day untill the night after the england match. A large group of ***** entered and threatened to **** up the staff if the ban wasnt lifted. Unsuprisingly enough the ban lasted 2 days. **** untied-1, decent folk-0.

Safe pubs in stafford tend to be located further up the town, such as the hogshead, joxer bradys, the firkin, yates ( early on ), and others.

Recently more and more “Benches” are becomming infected with the **** sickness, seeming to be the new “place” to be. Sittin, smokin, spittin, and hurling abuse at anyone who walks past. Hell it sounds better than working to me too.

I think someone should forward this site to tony blair, so he can see that his country is turning to **** while he is fannying around with europe.