Worcester is a **** haven, you cannot turn around without there being a **** in your face asking for money or threatening to **** you. Although many look like they live on the streets they seem to have little parts of Worcester dedicated to them and their families. Tolladine, St Johns, Warndon, Ronkswood and Dines Green are places which strike fear into the hearts of the hardiest of all skaters. These areas harvest the most ****** of all the *****, townies, ******, kev’s, tramp’s or what ever you want to call them, that you could possibly meet.
The fast food district, i.e. chavland, consists of what seems to be their fortress, Mac Donald’s or Macky D’s as they like to call it! This is where they spend their time when not producing more ****.
Worcester is ********. When will the day of the **** end!!!!!

Welcome to Worcester, the ancient **** capital of the **** ******** West Midlands. From the derelict and depressing Angel Place in the centre of town, to the sprawling Council ****-Estates of Warndon, Brickfields, Ronkswood and Dines Green, this once proud old city now stands as a monument to all that **** culture embraces.

A visitor arriving at Worcester’s Foregate Street railway station, and heading off in search of cultural stimulation, would soon be in no doubt that this city is now a wilderness of drab mediocrity surpassing even such nearby delights as Droitwich, Redditch, Kidderminster and the **** utopia of Birmingham.

Right at the centre of Worcester you will find the inevitable **** temple of McDonalds, and within yards of this are to be found other such culinary sewers as fried chicken outlets, burger bars, kebab houses and baked potato vans.

During the evening and weekend the hordes of Worcester ***** and ********* will congregate around these stinking emporiums of **** stuffing their spotty faces to their hearts content, leaving behind them a mass of rubbish for the pigeons and **** to gorge on.

In the evening however, Worcester comes into it’s own as a **** hot spot of epic proportions. **** boozers proliferate in Worcester town centre, The Courtyard, RSVP, Bushwackers and Chicago Rock to name but a few. Chicago Rock in particular seems to attract the true hardcore ****. Situated in an ancient medieval side street it really is a sight to behold to observe the ***** piling out at midnight, fighting and spewing their way down New Street towards the taxi rank by McDonalds.

For those still standing Worcester has an array of high class **** night spots, including Tramps, La Mango and Images, although those over 19 years old might feel a little out of place.

Yes, Worcester really has succumbed to **** rule, a true intellectual and cultural wilderness to match any in England.

If, and probably when, England becomes a **** nation, and King Jason and Queen Chelsea are sitting on a burberry throne, the capital will surely move to Worcester. The city centre contains everything for your modern-day ****. Argos, Index, McDonalds… The main hangout is indeed the latter, where smoking ****, the cheaper the better, spitting and hurling abuse is de rigeur. Over in Warndon, ***** will race their novas in an altogether-less-entertaining version of Formula 1, on the local trading estate. Hobbies include, but are not limited to, stealing economy lemonade from Sainsbury´s, smashing bus-stops and setting fire to things. Baby ***** will soon go to ´Elgar High School´ where they will be tutored in the above skills which are necessary to become a fully-fledged ****. Certain bus routes have been cancelled at night because of paving slabs being launched by some local ****, drunk on a capfull of white lightning, whilst one bus was actually stolen. Marvellous. The local cinemas are also a mecca for these imbeciles. Sitting at the back of the Odeon hurling popcorn, belching and laughing whilst discussing the very important issue of ´wot bird ´as the be´er knockers´ (TRANSLATION) ´which actress has the more impressive busom´ really makes the cinema experience in Worcester a sight to behold. Surprisingly none of this will appear in the Worcester Tourist Board´s next pamphlet for visitors. Strange.