Chesham: a flashback to medieval days

Is Chesham a nice place to live or is Chesham rough?

I live in Chesham, & I think that everything I read in the previous article about ‘this fine town’ is complete and utter………. truth.

I work in a shop in the town centre. I also, have the misfortune of living by the clock tower (not by choice I must add) and towards the end of the day, when customers are few, I find myself staring aimlessly out of the window at what can only be described as a plethora of in-bread, moronic neanderthals, the likes of which are a flashback to medieval days.

When questioned by the police about some rumpus in the town centre, all one can hear is some slaggy female of the species saying “**** off, I aint dunn nuffink” Of course it never occurred to the fat **** that throwing beer glasses down the high street at 3am is not considered to be a good way to behave. As for a police presence in the town at night, well, there hasn’t been one since the Global closed down. apparently all the trouble stopped once that drug ******** dump closed. (not). 

The only time one sees the police is if someone calls them. Though I must say that they do arrive very promptly. A countless number of teenage mothers wander aimlessly past my window, **** ******* from mouths, sometimes followed by the offspring’s father, (if that is, they know who the father is) staffordshire terrier at hand. (staffy = penis extension). I sometimes think that the poor dog should be wearing one of those T shirts that say “I’m with this idiot”. Indeed, although the dog may **** on the pavement, it still has more social graces than the tw@t on the other end of the lead. After all, a dog doesn’t know that it’s wrong to shag it’s sister. then again, neither do ch@v’s I guess.