Willenhall, West Midlands Property Guide
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in West Midlands

Where do we start? Ah yes, Willenhall the weed capital of the Midlands. No-one gives a S*** and no body needs to here. All the low life scum do is nick clothes and sell them in the Royal George (although the owners of this website maintain that this is the writer’s own opinion and is not true), deal drugs and bring up endless kids who are usually dealing scrap metal or drugs by the time they are 13.

Everybody here has a dog (or Dogs) that bark uncontrollably for no reason whatsoever all day and all night. If you like loud music and have none of your own come to Willenhall and enjoy everybody elses. Or maybe engage in some idle chit chat with the neighbours all that’s needed is a deck chair (set up in your front garden or even on the footpath outside your house) then you can sit there all day drinking cans of super and discussing benefits with the neighbours!

To sum up Willenhall…

  • Everyone has a dog that barks…but they don’t know why
  • Everyone has kids…but they don’t know their names or Fathers
  • All the Kids ride bikes they grew out of 10 years ago
  • Bins are left out after collection day for at least 3 days (if they are taken in sooner people may presume you are not busy (even though you are not))
  • At least in Willenhall the off licences & chip shops are busy and there are lots of chavy £1 shops for you to browse
  • Willenhall is that desperate even the burglars don’t wait till your out they just stab you if you happen to be in when they arrive!


  • JP Weller

    If you hate Willenhall that much you could always try Portsmouth Virginia USA if you think things are bad here. Everyone I know in Willenhall works their b***!#s off and I’m not sure whose dogs are barking all day and night it might be your missus! Obviously written by someone who you say is mentally sub normal. If you listen to the rot on this website where do you suggest we all live if these places are so bad. Another example of our wonderful 21st century snobbery written by people who lived in the very same places as children and probably have the nerve to spout about working class values and romanticise about these streets whilst they now live and procrastinate from suburbia