Landkey is a depressing festering place

Living in Landkey, Devon

I came to Devon to enjoy life and have fun and must be off my head to have gone with Landkey. Landkey is only a few miles out of Barnstaple but it might as well be 500 years ago in feudal times, because the reality of one of the small minded ****** locals coming at […]

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Why not to live in Ramsgate

Living in Ramsgate, Kent

Ramsgate – a town that has so much to make it a great place to live. Beautiful beaches, pretty harbour, nice architecture. It also has a dirty town centre frequented by drunks at all times of day, lots of mobility scooters driven by lardy lumps sometimes driving one handed, holding a *** or a can […]

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Bourne: a backwater Lincolnshire market town

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

Now there has been a couple of articles on here written about Bourne, which where down right nasty and scathing. Now here is the truth. Bourne is a backwater Lincolnshire market town that sits on the A15 to either Sleaford or Peterborough, and believe me, you do not want to go to Sleaford – Despite […]

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Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam

Living in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire

As you enter into Aylesbury, you find yourself in a traffic jam because someone decided to put a bunch of traffic lights and roundabouts everywhere. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the tour. Being stuck in the traffic allows you to observe the magnificent beauty of all the ‘trashy citizens’ that live there. It’s truly […]

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Leicester: feel threatened by the sheer amount of ‘Roadmen’

Living in Leicester, Leicestershire

Ahhhh, Leicester, where does one begin? When taking a stroll through town, one cannot help but feel threatened by the sheer amount of what are commonly known as ‘Roadmen’. This is another word for ne’er-do-wells. Now, let it be known – When I say ne’er-do-wells, I do not refer to the poor, simply those who […]

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Coalville has the general aroma of a deceased town

Living in Coalville, Leicestershire

If you are thinking of moving to Coalville, then read this. Your sanity os on the line. As if the general aroma of a deceased town with zilch prospects wasn’t unappetising enough, we now have a 99% derelict addiction and the dole sucking kids to go with it! Welcome to a town that’s lost all […]

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Frome: Trapped in Vegan Hell

Living in Frome, Somerset

Frome used to be a cute place to visit years ago. Not now. Now it’s been ******** with Londoners and their feral children. Everywhere you go you will smell them. One of the worst things is the monthly “market” where people lose all ability to drive and park for one day. They will park on […]

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Coventry – Worse than ever

Living in Coventry, West Midlands

How can a city that was considered in the 1990s to be a lump of excrement clinging to the ******** of England, get any worse? Well, take my hand dear reader, and I’ll show you how my former home city, Coventry, has achieved the impossible. We alight from our bus at a place called “Pool […]

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“I hate life and Watchet” – said a poignant piece of graffiti

Living in Watchet, Somerset

“I hate life & Watchet” was some especially poignant graffiti I saw carved into the bus stop. It pretty much sums things up really. Although I never actually lived there, I visited Watchet pretty much 5 days a week to score [“A sh*t ton of illicit substances” -Ed] back in the mid-late 90’s for about […]

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Elgin – Embrace the Void

Living in Elgin, Scotland

A quick Google search to Wikipedia will tell you that “Elgin (/ˈɛlɡɪn/; Scottish Gaelic: Eilginn, Scots: Ailgin) is a town (former cathedral city) and Royal Burgh in Moray, Scotland. It is the administrative and commercial centre for Moray”. It will not tell you of the unimaginable bleakness that absorbs the so-called city – designated thus […]

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Huddersfield: Entropy in action

Living in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire

Welcome to Huddersfield, the traffic light centre of England, where there are more taxis per capita than any other town in the UK, all driven by people that drive to different set of rules on its crater-strewn roads. (I heard Kirklees was short-listed by NASA to test the Mars Rover). Back in time, prior to […]

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High Wycombe aka BTEC Slough

Living in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

“Breaking News: Man stabbed outside church”, only in High Wycombe does someone get shanked in front of the Lord and half the population of Frogmore is permanently sh*t-faced and…umm…Desborough. The epitome of abject failure and never ending misery. When you get so lost you wind up in High Wycombe, you’ll have the sudden urge to […]

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