Hackney – Be careful what you wish for…

Living in Hackney, East London

I used to live on the Hackney/Lower Clapton border a few years ago, before gentrification. Even back then, I used to think it was rough. Although I used to take a kind of sadistic pleasure in informing any out of town friends visiting, that we were driving down the North London murder mile while on […]

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Harlow – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter…

Living in Harlow, Essex

I like to think I’m a fairly hardened sort of person towards ugliness but I was not prepared for Harlow. I spent the early parts of my life in such, shall we say less than aesthetically pleasing, places as Middlesbrough, Bradford, Stoke-on-Trent and pre-gentrification Hackney. About five years, ago, I started a new job in […]

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Plymouth: England’s Cesspit

Living in Plymouth, Devon, South West

Well as my last article titled “Plymouth, the toilet of England” seemed so popular with the locals and even the so called “local newspaper” the Plymouth Live, well I say local, does news in Kent count as local? But anyway, let’s getting into the article. Today I will be focusing on other less salubrious areas, […]

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Grimsby: the name says it all, GRIM-sby, it’s an utter dump

Living in Grimsby, Lincolnshire

The name says it all. GRIMsby. After suddenly deciding I wanted to go university three weeks before the new education year started. I was left with very limited options. Grimsby was one. So I decided I would move there for a year and then transfer to a different university of my choice. My god what […]

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Mablethorpe: Oldies ghost town

Living in Maplethorpe, Lincolnshire

Having lived in Mablethorpe for 12 years of my childhood and recently moving back to take care of an elderly relative, I think I can say I know Mablethorpe pretty well. It’s a ghost town. Both banks have now shut down and good luck trying to use the post office for your banking needs if […]

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Llandudno Junction: Haven for the primitive folk

Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales

Llandudno is a great town which is full of culture. Deganwy is nice and posh with its marina. Conwy is a magnificent town with its castle and walls. There is a town nearby however which feels like it is in a foreign country or in another time. This town is Llandudno Junction. The high street […]

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Stoke On Trent – A place devoid of intelligence

Living in Stoke On Trent, Staffordshire

I lived in Stoke-On-Trent for three years, and worked there for over 10, and there’s one irrefutable truth about the place that has remained unchanged for all that time – the place is a complete sh*thole, and the people really are as thick as pig sh*t. It’s not that their accents make them sound braindead […]

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Smacklesfield… I mean Macclesfield

Living in Macclesfield, Cheshire

When you hear of Cheshire you think or footballers and housewives right? Well until you enter Macclesfield aka WannaBe Manchester. The town centre is empty, all you have to see for entertainment is homeless people (may I add they they were set on fire not so long ago). Then there’s the drugs. Oh yes EVERYONE […]

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Gosport, Hampshire …more like cesspit Hampsh*te

Living in Gosport, Hampshire

Ah good old Gosport, where the council sits on its backside raking in money from parking meters despite there not being anything in the town worth parking for! The council are [a fine upstanding example of local government, honestly, they’re definitely NOT] dodgy and for some reason in this god forsaken town, they keep voting […]

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Dover Lifestyle

Living in Dover, Kent

Open Drug dealing is normally excepted in Dover. Crack and smack are easier to find than a good restaurant. Even the former mayor was filmed enjoying toilet substances. The local authority is [certainly not] considered the most corrupt by other local councils. My son was mugged in a park on camera nothing happened. Girlfriend beaten […]

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Ferryhill: the town’s female population are permanently pregnant

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill is a small, former pit village in South West Durham with a population of around ten thousand. A typical terraced house can be purchased for about the same price as the weekly shop in any town in the Home Counties. Unfortunately they’re still overpriced due to the high concentration of pond life who reside […]

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Watton – Most Boring Town Ever

Living in Watton, Norfolk

Driving through Watton you’d think it’s just another generic Norfolkian Market Town, but to those who are unfortunate enough to end up moving here (especially when you have no choice in the matter) will end up quickly learning that is in fact the most backwards, xenophobic and boring piece of s**t “town” in Norfolk. The […]

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