Stoke on Trent – the place the Government forgot

Living in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire

Once the thriving Potteries, now its main industry is Bet365, which, as one of the local Councillors informed me proudly, is the only new industry to come to the area since Michelin did in 1926. The Michelin now shut, alongside most of the Pot banks, pits, steel works, retail and two thirds of the Local […]

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Cheltenham: For people who like Waitrose and gushing about their salary

Living in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire

Before I start piling on the insults, let me just say I actually DO really like Cheltenham. It’s got a lot going for it; beautiful regency architecture, a great restaurant scene, lovely parks etc. It isn’t the town itself that I wish to shame, but the sorry excuses for human beings that live and breed […]

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Dearne Valley (Valley of Death!)

Living in Dearne Valley, South Yorkshire

Allegedly cast out of Barnsley, Doncaster and Rotherham probably 200 years ago, I was told by a Minister, “non-conformists” were not allowed to take up residence any closer than 7 miles to any of these towns. Goldthorpe, equidistant from these three towns, therefore looks very much like a “non-conformist settlement”, and is probably why the […]

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Reddish: The Ghetto of Greater Manchester

Living in Reddish, Stockport, Greater Manchester

Welcome to Reddish, an outlying slum of the town of Stockport and the home to many ***** and council house clutter. There, you can get up to many activities, such as getting robbed by a group of *****. They will often retreat to their area of congregation, Houldsworth Square, to sell your stolen items, or […]

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North Devon: Fawlty Towers meets Filthy Rich and Cat Flap

Living in North Devon

North Devon, the land of hospitality and great scenery. well at least the scenery and coastline pass muster. Living here is like living a 1970s sitcom, and to be blunt it’s just as cheesy. Why, how? – really glad you asked – let us begin… Hospitality? Picture Fawlty Towers, if you will, and throw in […]

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Swinton is a sewer, moved here from Macclesfield, big mistake!

Living in Swinton, Greater Manchester

Just wanted to post about a town I lived in 2 years ago, Swinton. I moved here from Macclesfield as I already hated Macc and wanted to move closer to friend. Big mistake! The first day I was walking through the precinct I was attacked by an old man (Looked homeless) and said he’d leave […]

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Ferryhill: full of jobless drugged up muppets

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill is full of jobless drugged up muppets, who like nothing better than getting stoned, high, drunk or all three and fighting because they’ve got nothing else better to do. Ferryhill is full of fast food places and also has a GREGGS. Parents pick their kids up from school at 3:15pm still in their pyjamas. […]

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Ilkeston: The perineum of the east midlands

Living in Ilkeston, East Midlands

The perineum of the east midlands is between Nottingham and Derby, this sinkhole of humanity known as Ilkeston has a derby postcode, but is more closely located to Nottingham than Derby. Tourism and activities There are not a great number of scheduled activities here but the anual Charter fair takes place every October and is […]

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Maidenhead: Not fit for a Royal wedding!

Living in Taplow and Maidenhead, Berkshire

My birth place was Taplow but grew up here in the 70s and 80s. Famed for its picturesque river Thames views and mansions with homes to the Berkshire dwelling celebs of yesteryear and the filming at the town hall of the opening titles of ’Carry On Doctor’ after recently visiting briefly, this place has gone […]

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Blackpool: The seaside hole of littered beaches and benefit bums

Living in Blackpool, Lancashire

There are so many wonderful things in Blackpool. The littered beaches, the adorable little orchin children, and the peculiar smell of fish from the council flat round the corner. People say you learn from your mistakes, but if that were true Blackpool wouldn’t have a population. Want to lighten your load? Well visit Blackpool, where […]

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Rochdale: A complete abomination occupying the map of Greater Manchester

Living in Rochdale, Greater Manchester

Majority of the residents disdain this town. The sole act of living here, and even being associated with Rochdale is a disgrace. Not for trivial, but rather major reasons. In fact, the (not so) respectful residents may just happen to be the contributory factor! Possessors of low IQ, users of unknown speech codes, devoted to […]

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Halstead – a place time forgot

Living in Halstead, Essex

Now I don’t know how many of you have heard of a small Essex town called halstead, because you should have, with the countless amount of crime that has grown inside it. The most exciting thing to happen in this town is a Costa opening which [allegedly] quickly got ******** with ****. This town is […]

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