Living in Aviemore, Scotland

Aviemore: we are made to feel as welcome as a Christian in Saudi Arabia

The main hotel in Aviemore looks more like a huge block of council flats, the estates on the outskirts are little more than ghettos.

Living in Wootton, Bedford

Wootton – located on the darkest recess of Satan’s inner rectum

Wootton is a horror story within itself, If you believe in Ghouls and Witches this is the place.

Living in Blackhall Colliery, County Durham

Blackhall Colliery – I honestly wish I had never set foot in the place

Blackhall Colliery is the area that Mr Blair had selected to improve as it was and still is the most deprived area in the North East.

Living in Forth, Scotland

Forth – a grey & moribund carbuncle on the arse-end of Scotland

Forth Village residents range from angry old people visibly flustered that the Grim Reaper has overlooked them, to young delinquents and single mums on benefits chugging Buckfast.

Living in Bedford, Bedfordshire

Bedford – billed to be the Garden of Eden, but ended up like Stalinist Russia!

Bedford where the second coming was going to happen. The only coming was the Chav Invasion of the London Pygmies.