Living in Gillingham, Kent

Gillingham: a quaint little sh*tehouse situated on the river Medway

Gillingham people are easy to distinguish from Chatham-ites (where the geezers are half puggy & most of the lardarse ladies are on the game).

Living in Crowhurst, East Sussex

Crowhurst: Why you SHOULDN’T live here

Crowhurst is basically one big field, there is approximately 0 post offices, 0 shops, 0 restaurants, 1 s**tty pub and 0 entertainment.

Living in Fareham, Hampshire

Fareham: if inbreeding was a town.

I've lived in Fareham my whole life, but it wasn't until I was 16 that I realised why there were so many buck-toothed-cross-eyed-chavs.

Living in the Wood Farm Estate, Oxford

Wood Farm Estate, Oxford: is Horrible – Don’t go There

The highlight (or more likely lowlight) is the infamous Foresters Tower.

Living in Hinchley Wood, Surrey

Hinchley Wood (Clarkson was right)

For the people actually living in Hinckley Wood under the age of 65, the word boring doesn't even begin to cut it.