Salisbury – well there’s two types of people

Living in Salisbury, Wiltshire, South West

I have lived in Salisbury my whole life – unfortunately. If you’re looking for somewhere to make your life seem longer, then this is the place for you. The days drag on at such an unbearable rate in this dull boring little ‘city’, I already feel twice my age. You will get some people who […]

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Guildford: What has become of you?

Living in Guildford, Surrey

Guildford, oh Guildford. What has become of you? Once lauded as the glorious beating heart of “leafy Surrey”; a jewel in the crown of the Home Counties, Guildford is now a relatively unpleasant place to live. To start, we have one of the worst local councils in recorded British history. A veritable financial black hole. […]

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Elephant and Castle – Yep, you’ve got off at the wrong stop.

Living in Elephant and Castle, South London

So, you’ve found yourself in Elephant and Castle? My condolences. Well, while you try and find the nearest possible exit, why not stop for a moment to marvel at the many wonders that we have to offer here! You ever heard of Michael Faraday? He was born here, and you better believe we’re gonna let […]

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Sittingbourne, oh the joy

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here. The place is a real sh*thole now. Disrespectful cheeky kids that are dragged up by **** parents. I work in the retail park, and the amount of litter that the sh*ttingbourne sh*te […]

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Landkey is a depressing festering place

Living in Landkey, Devon

I came to Devon to enjoy life and have fun and must be off my head to have gone with Landkey. Landkey is only a few miles out of Barnstaple but it might as well be 500 years ago in feudal times, because the reality of one of the small minded ****** locals coming at […]

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Why not to live in Ramsgate

Living in Ramsgate, Kent

Ramsgate – a town that has so much to make it a great place to live. Beautiful beaches, pretty harbour, nice architecture. It also has a dirty town centre frequented by drunks at all times of day, lots of mobility scooters driven by lardy lumps sometimes driving one handed, holding a *** or a can […]

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Bourne: a backwater Lincolnshire market town

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

Now there has been a couple of articles on here written about Bourne, which where down right nasty and scathing. Now here is the truth. Bourne is a backwater Lincolnshire market town that sits on the A15 to either Sleaford or Peterborough, and believe me, you do not want to go to Sleaford – Despite […]

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Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam

Living in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire

As you enter into Aylesbury, you find yourself in a traffic jam because someone decided to put a bunch of traffic lights and roundabouts everywhere. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the tour. Being stuck in the traffic allows you to observe the magnificent beauty of all the ‘trashy citizens’ that live there. It’s truly […]

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Leicester: feel threatened by the sheer amount of ‘Roadmen’

Living in Leicester, Leicestershire

Ahhhh, Leicester, where does one begin? When taking a stroll through town, one cannot help but feel threatened by the sheer amount of what are commonly known as ‘Roadmen’. This is another word for ne’er-do-wells. Now, let it be known – When I say ne’er-do-wells, I do not refer to the poor, simply those who […]

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Coalville has the general aroma of a deceased town

Living in Coalville, Leicestershire

If you are thinking of moving to Coalville, then read this. Your sanity os on the line. As if the general aroma of a deceased town with zilch prospects wasn’t unappetising enough, we now have a 99% derelict addiction and the dole sucking kids to go with it! Welcome to a town that’s lost all […]

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Frome: Trapped in Vegan Hell

Living in Frome, Somerset

Frome used to be a cute place to visit years ago. Not now. Now it’s been ******** with Londoners and their feral children. Everywhere you go you will smell them. One of the worst things is the monthly “market” where people lose all ability to drive and park for one day. They will park on […]

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Coventry – Worse than ever

Living in Coventry, West Midlands

How can a city that was considered in the 1990s to be a lump of excrement clinging to the ******** of England, get any worse? Well, take my hand dear reader, and I’ll show you how my former home city, Coventry, has achieved the impossible. We alight from our bus at a place called “Pool […]

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