North Devon – Don’t do it!

Living in North Devon, Combe Martin and Ilfracombe

If you were thinking of moving to your over-priced dream North Devon property for a new life, then read on. Unfortunately everybody else had the same idea. Chopsy Brummies, cockneys, scousers, incompetent caterers, useless Pub landlords, and robbing shysters, have settled their fat arses down here already. Sorry about that. Devon isn’t paradise, it’s Sheffield […]

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Mill End: inches from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25

Living in Mill End, Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire

Emerging just centimetres from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25, sits an old council estate going by the mind-bendingly imaginative name of Mill End. It nestles, like an infected yellow head, on the boarder of South West Herts and South Bucks, and breeds toothless simpletons, social disease and gonorrhoea like a scene […]

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East Kilbride – slice of hell cut off from civilisation

Living in East Kilbride, Scotland

This is posted as someone who moved to East Kilbride 2.5 years ago temporarily and will soon be leaving, by the grace of all that is holy. As a ‘new town’ in the 60’s and 70’s East Kilbride originally attracted lots of industry workers and their families. However due to the mammoth distance of 10 […]

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Kazakhstan to Crewe – no thank you!

Living in Crewe, Cheshire

I was born in Crewe but was lucky enough to have relatively enterprising and hard-working parents. They felt it would be better to move out of town and bring me up in a semi-affluent village not too far away. Enough, I cannot thank them! Graduating from university in another God-forsaken northern pit called Lancaster (which […]

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North Shields – Shield yourself at all costs

Living in North Shields, Tyne and Wear

Ah, North Shields. Truly a bastion of the North. A magnificent representation of our wonderful cultural values – alcoholism, drugs and screaming at your children like it’s an episode of Jeremy Kyle outside of the Metro station, while your husband is off purveying the cheap lager at the local offy. Residents despise their life In […]

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Hackney – Be careful what you wish for…

Living in Hackney, East London

I used to live on the Hackney/Lower Clapton border a few years ago, before gentrification. Even back then, I used to think it was rough. Although I used to take a kind of sadistic pleasure in informing any out of town friends visiting, that we were driving down the North London murder mile while on […]

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Harlow – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter…

Living in Harlow, Essex

I like to think I’m a fairly hardened sort of person towards ugliness but I was not prepared for Harlow. I spent the early parts of my life in such, shall we say less than aesthetically pleasing, places as Middlesbrough, Bradford, Stoke-on-Trent and pre-gentrification Hackney. About five years, ago, I started a new job in […]

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Plymouth: England’s Cesspit

Living in Plymouth, Devon, South West

Well as my last article titled “Plymouth, the toilet of England” seemed so popular with the locals and even the so called “local newspaper” the Plymouth Live, well I say local, does news in Kent count as local? But anyway, let’s getting into the article. Today I will be focusing on other less salubrious areas, […]

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Grimsby: the name says it all, GRIM-sby, it’s an utter dump

Living in Grimsby, Lincolnshire

The name says it all. GRIMsby. After suddenly deciding I wanted to go university three weeks before the new education year started. I was left with very limited options. Grimsby was one. So I decided I would move there for a year and then transfer to a different university of my choice. My god what […]

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Mablethorpe: Oldies ghost town

Living in Maplethorpe, Lincolnshire

Having lived in Mablethorpe for 12 years of my childhood and recently moving back to take care of an elderly relative, I think I can say I know Mablethorpe pretty well. It’s a ghost town. Both banks have now shut down and good luck trying to use the post office for your banking needs if […]

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Llandudno Junction: Haven for the primitive folk

Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales

Llandudno is a great town which is full of culture. Deganwy is nice and posh with its marina. Conwy is a magnificent town with its castle and walls. There is a town nearby however which feels like it is in a foreign country or in another time. This town is Llandudno Junction. The high street […]

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Stoke On Trent – A place devoid of intelligence

Living in Stoke On Trent, Staffordshire

I lived in Stoke-On-Trent for three years, and worked there for over 10, and there’s one irrefutable truth about the place that has remained unchanged for all that time – the place is a complete sh*thole, and the people really are as thick as pig sh*t. It’s not that their accents make them sound braindead […]

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