Living in Bedale, North Yorkshire

Bedale is the red and grey brick cyst on the face of the otherwise picturesque Yorkshire dales

An urban legend in Bedale is that a woman died in the beck and now haunts the waters. The water is in fact green and floating about is a stray McDonald’s wrapper.

Living in Scarborough, North Yorkshire

The McCain factory looms over Scarborough like a potato Auschwitz

While many articles on crap towns rant about their local populace of chavs, Scarborough's chief sh*t-hole makers are the middle class.

Sherburn-in-Elmet

Sherburn-in-Elmet

Sherburn-in-Elmet is a relatively large village that the majority of people will not have heard of. Situated just off the A1, it is halfway between Leeds and York. The village centre is quite nicely

Living in Selby

Selby is packed to the grubby chlamydia infested gills with utter scum

Selby has the largest proportion of drunk, drug addicted, load mouthed drop out charvers i have ever seen (and i'm from Hull).

Living in Loftus, North Yorkshire

Loftus, most families seem to be related and interbred

Loftus is a human dumping ground for all the problem families that not even Middlesborough and Redcar can cope with.