Stroud, Gloucestershire, Property Guide
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Gloucestershire, South West

There are 2 simple category’s in Stroud:

The homeless chavs who like to sit in druggy park at 1 pm whilst drinking their tesco cider mixed with energy drink and shout at people as they walk past. And we have the hippies, with their hula-hoops, oversized harems and s**t dreadlocked hair who like to take drugs until the sun rises in what they like to call ‘ghettos’

Don’t get me wrong we love a bit of Stroud now and then, the nice ‘community feeling’ and the ‘relaxed atmosphere’ but when it’s only 3pm and you’re making your journey home, who wants to be stared at by a group of inbreds, holding their riddled boxer whilst smoking a fag that they found in a bin, who shout at you if your eye goes anywhere near their direction?

Note: they tend to sit outside sports direct or near sugar- a very very, very s**t ‘night club’ a.k.a inbred central

We have a peacocks, a sports direct, a cheeky little store 21 and a lovely McDonald’s…. hmm McDonalds (the house of chavs) it attracts the many fucktards in Stroud- some like to stand outside and smoke the whole time, others sit inside all day being as loud as possible and quite frankly piss everyone off

We obviously get all the twats gathering outside ‘stratty park’ who play s**t tunes in their corsa’s with fluorescent wheels and smoke some s**t and then eventually f**k off

How many coffee shops do we need??

Continued Below

If you come to Stroud you’re likely to see some 13 year old girls with their wilkinsons pick n mix bags, some chavs, a bunch of hippies, some more chavs, a group of f**k boys, some 21 year old drop outs and some more chavs. You’re most likely to also see bonfires- ‘you know what stroudies and their bonfires are like’ (heavens is the place to be) But at the end of the day, we all love Stroud as we’re all stroudies together (i can’t remember why we do though)

not forgetting Uplands park, located outside the Co-op further down from the bus station. Where a park sits dead aimed for 1-10years of age. Inside sits a little wooden hut, where the occasional chave sits inside smoking a ‘joint’ or a ‘zoot’ being stoned out of their faces. Yet alone the hut at the top of the park where the same occurs.. Baggy trousers, each bum cheek showing and representing “I am the chav”. If you come to Stroud, he’s a cinema and so on is included but if you want ‘bare’ things to do that are ‘bless’ come here to CC. Not Comedy Central, chav central. I may as well say, roses are red violets are blue what the f**k has happened to you? “Mans got bare time, all e’s in my GCSE, safe bruv”

be sure to take a picture of a Vauxhall corsa with more than liked a 13yr old.


Safe ma G as they like to say.  F*cking idiots.