Living in Silsden, West Yorkshire
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, United Kingdom, Yorkshire

Where do i start!

Silsden, is what appears to be a small quiet village community and to any outsiders probably is, but until you live there, you don’t see the truth the real underbelly of what could be the next countryside getaway…  when actually its quite possibly one of the biggest shitholes you’ve ever seen…. if Silsden were a living room all the s**t would be hidden under the rug.

In Silsden there are many chav attractions, cheap housing offers a place for them to incest-ually breed and the park is a stable growing up ground for the teens… They hang in groups of 4 or more, and at any time of the day you are guaranteed to find them in the park either shooting up, or trying to mug someone.  I personally have banned myself from ever crossing the park, even though it’s a shortcut to my house, after last time when i stepped on that syringe.   So the park, it’s filled with chavs and syringes, and crappy chav messages like ‘I WUZ ERE DARREN 04 FUK U 2’ written on the side of the swings.

Moving on to other attractions in Silsden, my personal favourite… yep its the graveyard!  Unlike most over graveyards, silsden’s is situated right next door to a nursing home… well thats just real thoughtful from the Bradford council planning department Right there!!! I mean, I cant wait until i get old, i’ll have a patio view of things to come, i’ll probably even be able to pick my spot out before i pop my cloggs.  You may be thinking ‘but this doesn’t have anything to do with chavs’ well you’re wrong, for the graveyard is a prime collection ground for them, mainly chav couples. they go after hours late at night, i’ve never seen them myself, like the park i’ve also banned myself from going into the graveyard after hours.  You may be asking… how do i know that chavs go their if i’ve never been in? well i have been in during the day… and it’s full of condoms, yep thats right, scattered everywhere.. near the gravestones… how respectful. now the only type of person who would f**k like a rabbit in a graveyard is… yep you’ve guessed it!

What else do we have… ohh yes! the type of chavs living here, they don’t work, they live on the dole and most of them are aged 20 – 40… it’s funny.. i was at the bus stop the other day… i looked across the road at a house door opening. This guy ran out down the road, nothing on his feet and tried to catch up with this woman.. he looked at her and shouted “EYYY DICKED HOW THE F**K AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING, IVE GOT NO CLEAN SOCKS”.  Now don’t get me wrong, but i don’t think cleaning socks is all that big a job… one doesn’t need a college education or university degree.

Silsden is also a passing place for those scallies who don’t have homes, yes thats correct! i’ve heard stories and i’ve seen them myself, they pitch tents in the park and camp in Silsden every now and then. I wish they’d OD already and be done with it.

The type of chav in Silsden is your standard aggressive ‘ill start on you whatever the f**k you’re doing… and if you’re doing nothing, i’ll still f*****g start on you’ type.

They do wear their socks over their trousers, which i never did figure out… to me it just looks like they are imitating a hitch hiking grandad. They don’t seem to realise we laugh at them for it and it makes it all the more worth while.

There used to be a time when Silsden was a nice town, free of chavs, its just a shame Keighley overflowed and spread the disease.

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  • ColonelScheissKopf

    This bloke’s having a laugh!! This is Silsden about as much as Skipton’s Delhi. I recognise precisely nothing about this place in this farce of a rant / description. The author seems to be high on drugs and one of the chavs he claims to despise.

    Silsden’s a cracking little place. Nice folk, good amenities, lovely countryside around it. Maybe our author friend was so stoned when he wrote this cobblers that he mistook Keighley for it??

  • Razza

    Never heard so much dribble in my life! I was born and raised in Silsden grew up in this “town” and the people are the nicest people I have ever met.
    It’s lovely with a good night life my parents have grown up there all there lives and although it’s got a few rough diamonds and a bit of northern grit most people I know including myself have never been on the dole!
    Pointless article written to obviously raise a reaction from some people but true silsdenners will not react to this tosh as they have more class

  • Blind Man

    Oh dear.

    Lived here for years and never noticed any of this.

    Have I missed something?

    I mean, according to some papers I should be mugged every five minutes or so. Never happened. I feel left out.

    Must admit heard tales about pub, but never been in. Never seen blood coming out door either.

    Now there are an awful lot of inconsiderate lazy motorists who litter the town with parked cars and drive too fast. But then there are lots of such people everywhere. I blame the car god and those high priests on Top Gear.

    Of course it is a crap place. So stay away and leave me alone in my misery. One day I might see a chav, one day I might be mugged, one day i might win the lottery, one day i will meet an alien. Wonder which will happen first?

  • Labrador of Perception

    I have lived, soldiered and policed some pretty rough towns, and trust me, when it comes to being a “Chavtown” Silsden is a bumbling amateur.

    It is a thriving little town with a great community spirit. Sure, there are a few bad apples, but a night out in Ilkley or Otley can resemble the retreat from Moscow and Harrogate resembles Mordor after 10pm.

    Finally, if you are going to accuse the inhabitants of a town of being thick, make sure the spelling in your diatribe is correct. I suspect the teenage graffiti artist in the park can spell better than you.

  • Jonathan

    This article is more a work of fiction than the Lib Dem’s election manifesto! Firstly whoever wrote it clearly doesn’t live in Silsden because it is NOT a village – it is a town. The fact that we have a town hall on the main road sort of gives it away and anybody who has had anything to do with the place is aware of this.

    Secondly the park and the vast majority of Silsden is well kept and there is very little crime in the town, what there is usually being petty crime. It is one of the most pleasant and safe places you could choose to live. Steeton, Eastburn, Sutton and Cross Hills across the valley are very safe and all have much higher levels of crime and anti-social behaviour than Silsden does.

    Thirdly, rather than being a “chav town”, Silsden is highly gentrified. It has been largely since the Second World War due to the industries that were based there and whilst there is no Labour Club or Liberal Club there is a Conservative Club, all three of the ward councillors are Tories and it is definitely more that way inclined. Just think about it – Addingham and Ilkley are just over the other side of the hill from Silsden.

    Rather than believe this article I suggest people come and visit Silsden. They are likely to have a pleasant surprise and whilst it is definitely not a Dales village it is still a very nice place to be.

    • Dazmundo

      Silsden is a real mixture of folk. There are a lot of good people there, but please don’t be deluded into thinking there isn’t a whole bunch of halfwits in town. For somewhere so small there is a lot of halfwits in Silsden. It’s not terrible and it depends on where you go. The Kings Arms is great, and the Robin was (I’m not sure if it still is) a real toilet. Red lion too at times. And yes they may get a pleasant surprise, but it all depends on where and when you go.

  • Malc

    With reference to the park, there’s a hand-painted sign outside some super-chav’s house [along Mitchell Lane at the corner of the park]. The sign reads: ‘Do not let your dog s**t here’. Young children pass up this path everyday so they’ll clearly see the sign with the swearword in huge letters = nice. The author of this sign is some guy with a white van who owns the big [but ugly] new house at the end of Mitchell Lane – he looks as rough as a badger’s a**e in the face. This says it all about Silsden: true Chav territory. There are many folks here who would punch your ‘lights out’ if you were even to glance at them – this guy would be one of those who would do just that.

    I wouldn’t be seen dead in the Robin Hood – it’s like some old western movie saloon bar – everyone looks at you funny when you walk in/everyone knows all the locals. If you’re an outsider or non-Cobbydaler — you’d better watch it.

  • johnny alpha

    If Silsden is so bad why are you living there Mr/Mrs anonymous? I reckon it’s because a) you can’t afford to live anywhere else b) you enjoy looking down your nose at other less fortunate souls and c) if you hadn’t the chavs to moan about you’d be at a loss in life!

    Go pick your f**king shopping up from the co op you miserable tw*t.

  • Luby Loo

    I agree that Keighley is a sh*thole but would say that Silsden is as bad as Keighley these days!!
    Silsden has gradually got worse over the years. You will find from teens to 50+ in the Robin Pub on any day of the week coked up, drinking, fighting, taking enough Extacy to kill a cow. The new drug i hear is MCAT where some of the Robin Hoods clientele is that off it they dont realise that the night before they got into a flight & ripped someones nose off!!.
    After the Robin hood shuts it’s doors it’s time to find a after party, usually at some Silsden scroats house( above one of the many little shops in Silsden). This is where they will stay for a couple of days taking drugs & not showering.
    Just beware Silsden folk. This is where your children could be on a weekend.
    At least the keighley scroats know they are scroats unlike Silsdeners that think they are above people of Keighley but act just the same.

  • queen_B

    keighley has nothing to do with silsden having chavs so what you chatting on ?

  • chavxs

    Silsden is nothing like as bad as keighley.

    • ColonelScheissKopf

      Few things in life are.