Living in Sidley, East Sussex
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Sussex, South East, United Kingdom

Sidley is a dingleberry hanging off Bexhill’s scummy backside. Just hop on the flea-infested bus from Eastbourne or Hastings and you’ll find yourself in Chav Heaven. The lively town centre boasts a Co-op, two hairdressers, a Danny’s Discount Store, two pubs, a garage, and an off-licence. Oh, and a SureStart centre where foetal chavs can learn how to tell Mayfair from Sovereign and Carling from Stella.

The local school is Bexhill High. Most lazy chav babies prefer to take the bus rather than face the 20-minute walk after their breakfasts of Mars Bars and Coke, but you can always see a couple of becapped BMXers scaring pedestrians on the way.

On Saturdays, all they migrate to Bexhill town centre, where their parents train them in shoplifting, or alternatively they let them loose on the local newsagent’s, where they can practise looking old enough to but ten Royals or a bottle of ‘Breeeeza’.

At 5pm, all the pensioners scurry home and bolt the doors, and the train station fills with chavs and chavettes with their vicious bulldogs. Here they practise mugging and bottling each other. The Devonshire Arms allegedly fills with fourteen-year-old girls blowjobbing the barmen for a vodka-and-coke, and the benches on the piazza outside sprout scroats swigging White Lightning. And after midnight we see them staggering home to Sidley waving their bottles and chanting 2Pac songs. The more adventurous may joyride home and then park the car in front of their own houses ready to be arrested in the morning.

Recently, the newsagent in Sidley was held up- the chav robber got his hand cut in half by the Sri Lankan chav owner, wielding a samurai sword. However, because the jury boxes in Sussex are filled with chavs, the robber got off and the owner got jail time.

Every day after 5, we see them lurking outside the local pub. The Pelham Hotel is too classy for this- so they sit on the wall outside the White Hart (?can’t remember the name?) where the bus shelter used to be. This was demolished because the little shits kept jumping on the roof.

Ah, Sidley. What would we do without you? I know. We’d save the government about £10 million a year in Income Support and Jobseeker’s Allowance.

  • Deborah Hawkins

    Wow! 10 out of 10 for your observation skills. 0 out of 10 for your judgemental negative attitude and the fact that you obviously can’t be bothered to step inside the shoes of another person to even get a glimpse of what their life could be like and why people act the way they do. Why don’t you get off your soap box and help instead of criticizing and moaning. Some of the greatest sinners become the greatest saints. And those who sit back whinging I wondered where they end up?

  • Chris

    There are more 16 year old single parents in Sidley than in the whole of the UK. Girls get pregnant at 15, leave school (where they didn’t really attend or learn anything) and get a council flat. They have never and will never work and nor will thier multiple kids. The chavs hang around the green (smoking roll-ups at 12)and causing headaches al around and it is not same to go out at night. Sidley makes the Chatsworth Estate look like Hampstead. At weekends in the summer they drift to the beachfront where they ride their BMX bikes at pensioners, infants and tourists alike, shouting abuse and spitting.
    They should bomb the place and same the benefit money that is paid out to 84% of Sidleyites. Welcome to Britain.

  • peckham boy…

    Sidley is a nice part of the world really…! U all know nothin if ur thinkin that its rough..haha..
    Try bein brought up in a city…. Or livin in one…. Wat a few kids walkin around shoutin their mouths of… Oh yeah right they must be trouble coz their wearin hoodies…. Reason ppl sit around on bench s… Is coz they are gettin out of the house…. U go on abt dole wallers…. Well where’s the work for these younger ppl…. They.leave school end up in college on yet another government programme…. With no hope of a job at the end….. With no experience…. Just take a look around bexhill town center…. Same…. Sh*t shops…(Charity)(food)(dannys discount)…. Simple answer don’t like where u live do something abt it…get of ur lazy fat arse’ move…want the quiet life find a little village…with a population of nothin…an stop moanin…I’ve lived in some proper sh*t holes…around this god forsaken country….an sidley doesn’t come close to bein rough…. Maybe some ppl should get out more often…an take a look around u the problem is all ova england…unemployment is rife not just contained in sidley….don’t blame ppl for bein on the dole….watelse is there…. Oh I know min wage wipin someones arse in an old ppls home…..

    • Your Mother

      I love how you make out your hard done by because young people aren’t ‘provided’ with work, and yet your also stating that if someone isn’t happy with where they’re living they should ‘get off they’re lazy fat arses’ and do something about it. How about all these wasters and benefit scroungers that literally hang off the rectum of society milking what they can so they can overpopulate the country with little baby chavs get off they’re lazy fat arses and get a job?

  • Ive lived in sidley for 4 years now-i dreaded moving here but once ive closed my door i pretend im not there. my neighbours are ok…there is a dodgy family or 2 or 3,one which hangs outside there house doing nothing allday long but throwing a ball to each other. the pelham has been closed again since ive lived here! its the worst pub around i think-what with the chavvy tramps outside it all f**ked, and i hate seeing the p*ss heads walking around with cans of ‘super tenants’ at 3pm when im walking home with my daughter. i cant wait to move away…but hey- it could be worse- we could live in manchester!!!

  • Rachel

    This Is Funny Stuff!! Needs updating though as we don’t have woolworths anymore, or! an off licence in sidley….. we do on the other hand now have more sh*tty charity shops, take aways and lidl where they can all steal their sh*t from hahaa!!

  • peckham boy…

    To John the one who knows it all…. Get a life “ya lemon”…! Now u tell me just why the pelham
    Has SHUT down…. As u no it all…. U no nothin son….so if I was u I’d keep ur lemon head..
    Outta things that u know nothin abt…. As for me bein a Chav…I’m nearly 40… And ur talkin
    Abt. Me…. It was an still is my pub…. The quicker u move outta town the better… U sad narrow minde lemon…… Get a life son…. Better still find ur self a bird…. Save gettin blisters on ur right hand…. U winkle…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Aj

    and by the way, dont try to insult me by calling me a “chav” for my last comment.
    since i dnt rite lyk dis do init blud.

  • Aj

    . 1) learn the names of the pub before you write bollocks.
    . 2) sidleys not as bad as hasting and st lenords- its a known fact that hastings and st lenords has the highest statistics out of the 3 towns for; teen pregnancy, Drug abuse, asbos, imigrants and theft.
    3) find something more useful to do with your time rather than slagging off sidley when clearly you have researched just a little too much into this, maybe its because you are one of these “CHAV SCUM” that you keep referring to and have first hand experience of their daily life.

    =) Lots Of Love

  • John

    The Pelham has been closed down due to the “CHAV” bar staff assaulting ….well the chavs! also I heard that the sh*t hole was raded by police. Says it all really.
    Sidley is full of dole scrounging, salad dodging, polyester wearing,hiphop loving chavvey scumbags. Things round here will never change, it’ll only get worse. Can’t wait to leave.

  • admin

    I bet they are rough old malts… 🙂

  • Nigh

    The Pelham has gone up-market now with topless barmaids.

  • SidleyFlyer

    I lived in Sidley until 1992 and it was alright. Maybe its changed since?

  • InTherapy

    I have remembered…the pub on the other side of the road opposite the chinese takeawy was … The Sussex Hotel, and they did not knock it down….it became a housing office, and does The Pelham qualify as being in Sidley? I mean its a bit posh with that wall. I thought Sidley started at The Green and ended at the road down to the high woods?

  • goffs

    The pub is called the new inn just to bring you up to date! and it is one of the scummiest places you could ever wish to see. Nasty. SIDLEY IS A MAJOR S******E!

  • evil_inside5

    my god this is true. i live in sidley unfortunately and all i do is walk down the street and countless chavs will start yelling insults at me for no reason what so ever. i find it amusing to see if any of them will try and start a fight but they never seem to which annoys me at times cus all i want to do is beat the hell out of them from time to time. owell im out