Living in Shaw and Royton, Oldham
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Greater Manchester, North West, United Kingdom

Adjacent to the classy town of OLDHAM (No comment,I’m taking the 5th amendment on that one), two insignificant pond life hellholes with very little to recommend them, apart from the roads out! Think total hatred. Man U vs Man C, Villa vs Birmingham, Sheff U vs Sheff W, Portsmouth vs Southampton, think again. Shaw vs Royton is serious Premier League.

The pettiness of the local populace goes back to Victorian times when the worthies of Royton, designed the Town Hall clock tower without a clock face on the side facing Shaw, so the Shaw Gawbies (Local term of abuse, linked with the saying regarding Warburton’s bread “Warbies,baked in Shaw by Gawbies”) couldn’t benefit.

Shopping in both towns is an elevating experience. In Shaw the pond life descend on Aldi, whereas in Royton, the 10 pack frozen pizzas from Iceland draw the crowds. Needless to say, both towns boast a branch of “Bargain Booze”, selling alcopops and cheap strong cider to the local hoodie chavs, who’ve ASBOs banning them from all the pubs.

Nightlife in both Royton and Shaw is singularly upmarket. Class act in Royton is the “Railway”,featuring crap entertainment, the Railway is full of loud chavettes with hooped earrings,Over-short skirts and thongs,displaying their fat (Mac Donalds fuelled) arses.
The Royton scum also go to “The Summit”, near where the “Millionaire” footballers of Oldham Athletic live, so the feel they are hob nobbing with “class”. On the other hand Shaw boasts the “Blue Bell” where the chavs clutter up the bar area, whilst the pensioners cringe quietly in the corners.

One thing Shaw and Royton have in common is their mutual hatred. No male from one town dare set foot in the other for fear of having the s**t kicked out of them for stealing “their girls”. Shaw has the edge, purely because it has a railway station to take you to the comparative sanity of Manchester in 15 minutes. Royton gives you the option of a bus to Rochdale… another tale altogether!

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  • Shutit

    Talk about hitting the nail on the head! Both of these towns are s**t holes filled with narrow minded hicks of the highest order. That said, Shaw does out weigh Royton in the ‘ You’re not local, are you?’ stakes. It is as thought they have a built in radar for spotting outsiders. Shaw is the kind of place where the children are born with no chins and sloping brows. It really is a f*****g toilet with some of the worst people you could ever hope to meet!! The pubs are little more than battle grounds, places for the local pond life to ply themselves with booze and snort as much cocaine as possible without reaching a lethal does. The ‘lads’ are rat like chavs in track s**t bottoms and dirty looking tattoos all over their worn out bodies. The women are as rough as burnt toast! They looked tired and aged! Imagine Vera Duckworth in a miniskirt and you are somewhere near their standard.

  • kim

    The only reason is is smaller on the Shaw side is that Shaw already had a clock of its own on the church and Warburtons Bakery was initaly called Ideal Bakery long AFTER the name “GAWBIES” came about so where on earth you have got your info from is beyond me Royton and Shaw alike are both lovely small villages and I have lived in them both for a number of years and it has been a pleasure maybe the people you are getting your info off doesn’t want you to visit as your an arsehole!!!!

    • Shutit

      Are you for real? Shaw is one of the unfriendliest s**t holes on planet earth! A stranger would have a warmer welcome in Baghdad than in Shaw! The town is pack full of rat-like chavs and chavettes all taking turns f**king each others partners. The local pond life like nothing more than snorting 0.0001% cocaine in the toilets of the local pig style pubs, downing luke warm larger and attacking each other over arguments on who is the dumbest. The pubs are a nightmare, it is as though they can smell outsiders and you are made to feel as well come as a turd in a swimming pool! Every single ‘lad’ in Shaw seems to think they are either a gangster or the hardest thing since the invention of the anvil! The women are pig-ugly sluts with glazed blood shot eyes and mahogany skin! They have tribes of kids from different fathers, all from Shaw and all as inbred as the day is long! Shaw can kiss my white arse!

  • Janet Lees

    The first thought after reading your peice is
    Lack of investment.

    My final thought is intention to deal with the biggoted narrow minded nature of the writer.

    So a public invitation to the writer to meet me in deep debate on Weds eivening at the Odd fellows Social Club in Royton.

    Therein I intend to broaden your thinking ability and congratulate your writing ability. And question why you chose to cause and add insult to injury.
    Can we help you make a better use of your talent in a more ” Mutually beneficial way.”
    Oh and your buying the drinks if you want my protection from the angry mob of chavs who read your review.

  • Peter Knows

    If you want to get beaten up and put in hospital, then a night out in Shaw is a must. Anyone who is not from Shaw will soon be reminded. Royton is different. You dont need a passport there, it is just Oldhams poor relation.

  • angry

    I am disgusted about the comments made about the blue bell! It is clean and there is a diverse range of customers who go in there! These people have a good time and all get along well! Everywhere you go you will find the odd idiot! Not just in shaw. Obviously the person who wrote this has nothing better to do than offend and revolt others! Do us all a favour and keep your fowl comments to yourself mate!

  • Royton

    This guy is obviously just looking for something to write about. Note how he literally runs out of things to say past pubs and supermarkets. I dont live in Shaw so I cant really comment much but as for Royton, we are a very small town, so what are you expecting us to have? A Waitrose? A sushi bar? Royton International Airport perhaps?…Why not mention our Town Hall, Library, the new estates that we have popping up all the time, The Fairways being the newest close to the Town Centre. The Blue Belle pub in Royton has a dress code and is not for under 24yr olds after 9pm…yet you go from the town centre all the way up to The Summit to mention that instead. Tandle Hills?? Royton Park? Royton Park is absolutley fine and there is a bowling club next to it that old people play on everyday so it cant be that bad. Its all negative. I could quite easily walk through Royton Town Centre at 3am on a Saturday morning in a Mr Blobby outfit and have no problems what so ever. By the way…I could go to the nicest little town in rural London and not struggle to find a frozen pizza so thats a pathetic statement in itself.

  • Smauel Crompton’s ghost

    You are joking aren’t you? Shaw is so middle class these days it’s not even funny. Most of the ‘chavs’ are just angsty middle class teens who want to look like their working class counterparts.

    Nightlife is singularly dying (like in many towns), as most of the pubs are shuttered or for sale (*cough* smoking ban/credit crunch *cough*). The successful ones are running nice middle-class restaurants.

    The only blotch is Littlewoods distribution centre: that red brick behemoth is all that remains of our mill-town history (chumpitaz – fishing town? Our only river is about four feet across and like two feet deep! Unless you can eat sticklebacks and frogs I don’t think so…).

    Of course there are some chavs (where aren’t there?), but this is due to the leech effect of being close to Oldham and Manchester – I have the high suspiscion that any real chav found in Shaw has come from one of the two (maybe even from Rochdale).

    If you can walk round safely on your own at 1am on a Friday night, it’s not a chav town, sorry.

  • chumpitaz

    What an arsehole… ooh its so scary out there, please protect me from all those rough boys. Royton and Shaw, two proud fishing villages at the foot of the pennines. Come back and have a drink when your spots clear up, try any of the happy hostelries.

    The term gawbies has nothing to do with warbies bread, the clock face in royton faces shaw
    ( although the clock face is smaller than on the other sides) and you are a whiny prick.

    That said I once saw a man dressed as a christmas tree on fire in the "Railway"