Living in Selby
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, United Kingdom, Yorkshire

Selby – Not too far from York and i believe once a busy mining and market town (it still has a very good Monday market). I admit i do not know too much about the history and before you all hang me I have met an abundance of locals who are genuinely nice people…….

However, This little town has the largest proportion of drunk, drug addicted, load mouthed drop out charvers i have ever seen (and i’m from Hull). The river ouse (p. ooze) churns through the middle of the town past the grimy silhouette of the old flour mill, threatening to flood the stinking dump every rainy season adding to the looming threat of violence that awaits you on every Thursday night.

Selby is the only place where Burberry is still classed as the height of fashion and the ridiculously high peaked baseball caps proudly adorn the heads of the pram pushing, stella swilling, drug munching majority. The main places for the pre-pubescent gobshites to hang around trying to bum smokes are any of the supermarkets dotted around the town or of course the rather recent Maccy ‘Ds’!!! The 1st, 2nd (and yes!) 3RD!!! generation c***s tend to ram themselves into the Griffin or Blackamore Head and then of course off to Kans or Gems ‘Quality’ nightclubs to find some half comatose 16 stone behemoth slob to drunkenly blow there load into in order to produce more screaming, malnourished brats to become the future inhabitants of the social black hole they call Selby.

The people i feel sorry for the most in Selby is the elderly. Older people i have spoken to are genuinely terrified of venturing out and spend there time locked inside, virtual prisoners in there homes – not necessarily from any genuine risk of mugging etc but simply the huge amount of intimidating, antisocial behaviour that spills from the town centre almost every evening (a lot of elderly people are timid and the town centre is walking distance from anywhere in the town).

Updated 2016

New thought from a new contributor – I am not from Selby (not sh*gging my underage Sister, total giveaway for the locals) but I am currently forced to live here. Selby is packed to the grubby chlamydia infested gills with utter scum. Educationally sub normal work shy drunken drug addicted vermin who are always on the scrounge, if I had a pound for every sob story and aggressive demand for money I would be a rich Man. They really are vile – snorting their pretend cocaine, chip pan full of fat slapped on their stringy receding hair, the collars of their Henry Lloyd shirts turned up, baseball caps at a ridiculous angle, spending their benefits at the pub (The Griffin being the favourite) and telling the World at deafening volume how “f*kin ard they are” – when there are five or more of them and they are on coke of course! After running out of people to scrounge from the next place is the weed/Mcat/smack dealer – who of course accepts stolen goods as payment then back to whichever settee they are staying on with eighteen stone of disgusting toothless thick as pig s**t vulgar slut to breed more gutter rats. Most  in this slum on the Ouse have quite simply no concept of manners because the people they think are their parents have never taught them any – too busy eating kebabs, thieving/fencing stolen goods and making empty threats they are too gutless to back up. They are also the most nosey bastards I have ever met who appear to think they have the God given right to know every last piece of your private business and get quite offended by “f*ck off” This Town is VILE – do yourself a massive favour if you ever find yourself in the area – and DRIVE PAST! This will also mean your car will not be robbed from by the hundreds of revolting black toothed heroin addicts – welcome to Selby – THE SLUM ON THE OUSE!