Living in Peterborough
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Cambridgeshire, East Anglia, United Kingdom

Peterborough has existed for a great many years and the its grandiose cathedral plays host to a site of an ancient Benedictine order of monks who, after an era of penetance, became somewhat affluent revelling in their pious prosperity with great banquets. All that remains of these foundations has been buried, for better or worse, beneath what could be described as the firmest foundations ever constructed to support a chav super-structure. It has been remarked that Peterborough is the model for large-scale civic planning. If this is the case, I advise acquiring shares in Sports Direct, Tesco, Poundland and poundstretchers (if they are listed).

Anyone who has ever spent any significant amount of time in Peterborough will have been to ‘Queensgate’, which is a giant US style mall. This monstrosity provides shelter for a whole city’s worth of benefit collecting, single-mothering, shoplifting, wife-beating, voice raising, window smashing, fast food eating Detritus. For the best evidence of Peterborough’s chav populous I advise visiting any of the numerous entrances to Queensgate where they huddle around bum-sucked Lambert and Butlers coughing and making ‘shapes’ at those who usher by.

For those who like to observe wildlife perhaps an afternoon at the gallery platform of the shopping centre will satisfy your interest. Look out for pack of chavs, tracksuit trousered and angle capped, and then cast your gaze in search of their predators robed in their security guard finery. These guards prey pre-emptively on the gatherings of chavs and chavettes mostly knowing them by name from previous encounters. There is an interesting relationship between the Queensgate security and the chavs as in a way each are dependent on the other. The latter requiring some authority to antagonise, the former needing an object to target to justify their occupation. The guards are like sailors bailing out a boat with a hole in the bottom, the chavs are the ever invading brine.

The chav culture in Peterborough is subtle and pervasive, even those who have jobs at the main employers of Perkins, Thomas Cook, Hotpoint and the numerous chain stores choose to spend their hard earned cash on the obligatory chav weekender. I refer to the working all week just to forget about it all over the 48 hours of the weekend. The uniform on these jaunts consists in the generic Ben Sherman shirt which hangs, untucked, over a pair or cotton black trousers. The centre of town is again the preferred choice, where an infinitesimal amount of them gather to do battle over girls, lager and kebabs. Night spots include Liquid, 5th Avenue and Break for the Border all of which are filled at midnight will burly tossers who would probably shag their own relatives if no-one found out about it.

This highlights Peterborough’s incestuous tendencies and xenophobic nature. To the average dweller there is little of any interest outside the borders of the ring road other than perhaps an airport from where they can fly to Benidorm, Ayia Napa, Magaluf or ibiza for two weeks of undeserved hedonism. The closed mindedness is apparent to an even greater extent when the diversity of ethnicity of Peterborough’s residents is examined. In fact, Peterborough is a multi-cultural place but in the sense that there are many cultural backgrounds but none of them interact. The chav attitude is exemplified by the St. George’s coss sporting barbarians whose philosophy is isolationist and their psychology aggressive. It saddens me whenever I return to the city to bear witness to the snide undertones of racism inherent in considerable numbers of public house conversations.

In any event Peterborough is growing and the new development towards the A1 is playing no small part in this population explosion. The Hamptons is an enormous development which has as its centre piece the largest Tesco’s in the country. Again here the magnetism of commerce attracts all types but the most prevalent are the chavs of all walks of life. They smack and shout at their kids in the aisles as they themselves impulse shop at the crisp and biscuit section. The best place here to spot the archetypal chav is at the cigarette counter where you can buy cheap cartons of you favorite nicotine delivery device.

If after all these shopping centres you desire to chav spot in a different environment, then why not head down to the local multiplex the ‘showcase’ cinema. Here again is a giant 14 screened beast, its foyer lined with arcade video games and social residue. Observe the behaviour at the pick ‘n’ mix as the jewelery clad rotters are drawn like bees to ultraviolet colours. Underage kids sneak from screen to screen to video the latest celluloid depravity as cars are robbed in the car park.

In closing perhaps the Posh, as it is so inappropriately known, is not the most obvious hunting ground for the creature known as the chav. However if one reassess what the definition of what a chav could be, Peterborough could be a glimpse of things to come. A home for a homogenised tribe with its enemy on its doorstep and its future in the sewer.

  • Victor

    Peterborough is a city of degenerates and what I cannot for the life of me understand is how people who cannot speak a single word of English end up getting jobs at Next, Tesco and other similar retail outlets. I am British born of Greek descent, have been educated in the UK up to Masters level and am in dire need of a job after relocating to the UK from Greece due to the immensely tragic situation back there, children and people literally falling down in the streets in front of your very eyes and dying of starvation. I have been to all the recruiting agencies and I am being looked upon in complete indiscretion, with irony, jealousy and as though I am from the planet Mars. I am of course focusing on getting a job anywhere across the UK and am using Peterborough solely as a base. I am giving myself until the end of this month, if nothing comes good, then I am off to Greece again with all its problems. I feel exasperated and tired of Peterborough after just two months. Incidentally and because somebody mentioned the Polish people; they are in fact amongst the most able-bodied people for doing jobs that no-one else would ever do and they are indeed very honest people with integrity. It is rather that Peterborough has attracted people from Bulgaria, Romania, Moldova, Lithuania, Latvia and even further afield who are not willing to even learn a single word of English. To be honest the only thing holding Peterborough together is Travelex. If that company goes, then it is back to the Middle Ages for Peterborough, so I think the local community here should also embrace to an extent, the influx of educated foreigners like myself as some may consider me, and use this to the advantage of the city. What is really sad, is that there is no interest, know-how or stimulus whatsoever to utilise the available areas which align the River Nene running through the city centre with any sort of development, tasteful and high-calibre restaurants, bars, coffee shops and activities fit for human beings. I was in Hull just the other week and I must say, that it has been the most pleasant of surprises I have ever witnessed in the UK, as I would have never thought that Hull would ever be so tastefully developed. I suppose what is really lacking is taste and diversity – true diversity and of course a University – a proper University.

  • Tricia

    I too have lived in peterborough all my life. I agree that everything you have mentioned does happen, however, not to the extend described. As with all other places there are good and bad qualities. As for ‘chavs’ being the main problem, i feel it is unfair to group people in this way. The people that are doing the thngs you have described vary in a range of people. They are all of different ages, sex, ethnicity and background. Also i fell the rasism issue is a big problem, however it is not just english racists, it goes all ways. You have selected the worst case scenarios in your report. If you were to review the rest of the city, and also become less shallow. You may find that there are plenty of nice places in peterborough and the majority of the people are genuinly nice people, often people that may be judged wrongly.

  • bones

    i think what you are saying is wrong peterborough isnt as bad as you make it out to be.
    “single-mothering, shoplifting, wife-beating, voice raising, window smashing, fastfood eating Detritus”
    all of the above can happen anywere you are it dosent matter weather its a big city or a small villige these things happen its not just peterborough.
    and curios captin your the steriotype mate your not exactly perfect

  • spud

    I was born and bred in “boro” and have lived in Birmingham. and Chester. I’v always come back. Whys that? Because Birmingham is a sh*t tip! And Chester… is well… full of scousers. So no, Boro isnt that bad. Theres a hell of a lot worse!

  • James

    I am so glad I went to Uni and moved out of Peterborough into bigger cities with all kinds of different people. It has been 8 years since I left and its a bit shocking to visit.

    Looking people up and reading about old friends on facebook and it is scary how some (90%) of people have not changed from school and or bettered themselves. Some have moved out and seen the real world. And well some do the best they can even if we could label them Chavs if we have a right to judge anyone?

    But the thing is -they are happy and not doing anyone harm so why I should I look down on them and call them chavs to make myself feel superior? they’re just people with different values and earnings-not everyone has a £25000 a year job or JJB’s would be closing down. But who cares what others wear-life is too short!

    Peterborough has ups and downs but it is not the worst city as most people who have not moved to other cities will realise that it has a quite a lot of positive processes.
    It does need an injection of jobs to cope with the loss of manufacturing and warehousing such as Freemans.

    Peterborough is also a city which many high wage earners live and commute to local cities- even London is not far by train or car. But as nice areas such as Longthorpe and South Bretton are much cheaper than living in London where the price of a home such as £350,000 would be over £600,000 in Barnet etc Peterborough does have good shopping centres but you are best seeking London shopping.

    If you’re a runner or cyclist you will find P’boro a godsend with modern routes -but these are never used and people will walk on printed cycle routes and drivers of hot hatches will swear at you-but thats not just P’boro its in other places. But P’boro is small enough to ride anywhere quickly.

    I’ll be staying there to work for a year or two by commute and I have to admit I’m dreading it and the rude people who ruin it for others. But then again there are many people who live there who make it a positive city an atmosphere.

    Yes it was suprising to see many Polish but then again it South Asians, Italians and Irish before but multicultrism has failed and we need to encourage communication in Peterborough before it creates a large divide and encourage the national English language so we can understand each other-not better but easily! otherwise it will cause hatred and increased tensions.

    Peterborough has many skilled people from all walks of life and it needs to attract businesses to come here for the cheap property and transportation and transform the city again as in the 1970s economy.

    Chav city? or a city with potential from all walks of life. Many festivals near the city including concerts and theatre and JJB sports shops…

    But to be truthful I will stay for a year -see what happens, shudder and get the hell out of there asap.
    It is not the worst but not the best if that exists!

    People make their city-so stop complaining and get of your butt and clean the city up-do something positive instead of moaning!

  • TheCurious_Captain

    Bang on there old boy, bang on. The place is full of scum, I’ve seen ’em and work with one of them. It’s quite disappointing really as the only bad thing about my job is this geezer. What a fat, lazy, white trainer wearing, Civic Type R driving, “Impreza’s are cool” thinking, meat-paste stuffing, yawning, misogynistic c**t.

  • thug_missis069

    but peterbourogh iz a gr8 city its got everyfin u cld want oh n btw poundstretcher is shut down but poundland iz still open