Living in Paisley, Scotland
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Renfrewshire, Scotland, United Kingdom

What can one say with regard to this “charming” town. Irritable from birth, their birth marks are Burberry, Nickelson And most recently Berghaus – I assume this is a winter trend but only next summer will tell.

In Paisley they seem attracted like moths to large exhausted compact cars which have been “altered” to be attractive in a way only their cataract infested eyes see as beautiful.

Colours of clothing the home page seemed unaware of, is extra-glo and faux shiny, or maybe there is just a small off the beaten track warehouse – ma mate’s front room =”shut those curtains ya baw-sac, ra polis might be keeking in ya bam”.

With that we come to the language. Nasal from too much “Buckfast” – the Neds’ drink of acceptance by others, incoherent to ensure they always over – qualify for benefit, and to save on oxygen to cover their 73 Mayfair cigarette habit, it all rolls into one.

They will never look you straight in the eye for fear of missing out on the chance to nick someone’s mobile phone – preferably while still being used.

The diet consists of fast food, chewing gum and white bread, not knowingly ever seen in the fruit and veg section unless in the shop for the first time. I can wholeheartedly guarantee that Paisley upon being visited will be in the top 3 of “chavtowns” in the UK