Living in Newport
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Gwent, United Kingdom, Wales

Commercial street

Man, this is just a Hillbilly Love Town, family runs thick here. You’ll know when some peakcapless slaphead asks you if you’ve got a fag and calls you Bra, like you’re wrapped around a pair of tits and difficult to undo. If this happens, reply No, then enjoy your leisurely walk up Commercial Street.

Greet the twat in the white shirt asking if you’ve had any accidents, with the palm of your [imaginary – Ed] hand firmly into the bridge of their nose, they will eventually leave you alone. Unfortunately, this is not the case with the Chuggers, be sure to walk over any good looking dreadlocked chics asking if you want to give money to some lost cause prostituting itself by sending its filthy employees out into the day and making your ears weep.

It becomes a tad boring being asked if you want a Big Issue by 10 different clucking glassy eyed dog-loving twits, but be creative, reply by asking them if they would like to buy your copy of the Argus (hoody loving rag), before giving it to them for free, shoving it heartily down their throat [in your imagination – Ed].

Dodge the prams being pushed by the mingest of the f*****g ming hair tightly scrunched back, fattest of the bastard fat, Clover eating Iceland heroes.

Then,
contemplate,
Family.
Hate Them.

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  • Nick Sigallias

    it is a dump im afraid ,the buildings in the town centre were designed by a guy who lost his life when his guide dog attacked him

  • Sy

    Total disagree with this article, I live and work in Newport. To give this total misrepresentation of a city trapped in with no future in the way of jobs that have been stripped from the area. It is the case with any post industrial era working town within Britain. To give the impression that the whole area is full of (chavs) brings my blood to boiling point, the youth have had the hardest time for over 20 years with a decline of top skills employment and been replaced with temporary jobs from agencies that exploit them for profit. Today’s capitalist system has stripped the whole country to the bones with not a single ounce of care towards the populace, what are these citizens to do in the face of life. When crime offers the chance to earn and street vendors are trying without using crime to pay a wage. There are many hard working people in this area that provide for there families, working long hours for minimum wage and making ends meet.
    Less hostility towards our youth and more importantly respect is missing from our Great Britain.

  • Louise Joanne Davies

    They receive fathers or mothers day cards before their 13th birthday, lmao, love it. I tend to avoid the areas where the house prices are as cheap as chips, Newport says it all really 😀

  • simmo6108

    i liked this, you are indeed, sir, a funny man