Living in Maidenhead, Berkshire
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Berkshire, South East, United Kingdom

You would think with the Council Tax we pay to protect the Queen up the road at Windsor we would be posh and chav free. Oh, heaven forbid no. I unfortunately got thrown by circumstance to a six month sentence on the downside of Maidenhead. The wrong side of the tracks literally.

Maidenhead has some fine area’s of <strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom which are estates that the German Luftwaffe (for any chavs reading that is the German Airforce in the war, ok) missed. Ironically with the names of The Bomber Estate, Lancaster and Halifax Road and the less celebrated area i die in called The Larchfield Estate. Life is a prison term here.

Pass times include riding motorised lawnmowers down the hideous walkway called the gullet where i often get abused by kids. St George’s flags are hung from windows despite the World Cup being finished ages ago and general<strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom entertainment is the domestics you hear on the estate “Chell, let i in, Chell” when the donor has had a few too many sherberts.

In town is more fun with the centrepoint being Muck Donalds and the shopping mall. The prospects of getting abuse are high but fortunately we have a local Police force none to keen on chavs and most times you see them is with the Police in pursuit. As for pubs forget it. It’s all theme fun pubs/clubs that have competitions like Dance Like a Queer for Beer (true).

Maidenhead is really the poor relative of Slough where locals have nothing on the gun culture of our brothers up the road. I don’t think they bother with Chavs in Slough and go straight into gangland feuds and people from Maidenhead never venture there.

I’m soon to be leaving Maidenhead, thank f**k.

  • Brinneh

    I live in the Cox Green area, and it is nice and quiet during the night. During the day time, you cannot move down the road because of the parents that are too lazy to walk their children 5 minutes down the road to school, but I suppose it’s like that everywhere when you have more than 2 schools in the same area. We’ve had a shooting in a tattoo parlour near St Marks Hospital several years ago, but that was drug related. A few months ago, we had some men beat up (and I think they killed) a guy in a restaurant in Boulter’s Lock, which made national news. The only other time we get into the news, is when something happens near Windsor or we are named a crappy town, of which I’m pretty sure there are plenty of other places that are worse! Avoid the gullet during the night, walk down Shoppenhangers where it’s well lit. I’ve never felt unsafe anywhere other than when I was walking down the gullet on my own in the dark. In London and Slough, I’ve felt unsafe in most parts.

  • Jason C

    This guy seems to be one of those do-good’ers, seeing everybody under the age of thirty as a thug. Get a life. I was born and raised on the Larchfield estate and when I left nearly twenty years ago Maidenhead was a place where people wanted to live because it was friendly, peaceful and fairly clean. The crap you’re shouting about is happening all over the country in every town, but you seem to see and judge the population of the entire town from your own doorstep. Idiot.

  • emma T

    this person has obviously lived a small and limited life ! You need to get out and see the big world to get some perspective and give you something to compare maidenhead to !

  • Deborah

    I have a house in a posh part of Richmond and my boyfriend owns his house in Larchfield Road. Larchfield is nicer! Friendly neighbours all joined in helping me landscape his garden as a surprise while he was away.
    My Richmond neighbour wanted to build a front garden extension that blocked me in. It was prohibited by a covenant but the greedy man took me through years of a legal case whilst he tried to get my benefit of that covenant lifted and thus devalue my house. He lost the court case naturally, but that’s nasty greedy rich neighbours for you. They’re often ruthlessly selfish and they don’t care.
    Don’t be fooled into thinking better educated & more privileged people are ‘nicer’ than those who are not, often the reverse is true.
    On Larchfield there is a kinder ethic.
    Be careful what you wish for.

  • Greg

    The Germans missed the bomber estate etc for 2 reasons:
    1) As far as I know Maidenhead wasn’t bombed at all
    2) The estate hadn’t been built yet
    Maidenehad chavs are pathetic compared to most places.

    Town centre buildings just need a clean and better shops filling them and it would be just fine. Maybe replace a few too.

  • Hannah

    I was crying of laughter while reading this of how ridiculous it is. I come from Northolt in west London where you get reports of drug deals murders and rapes every other week and you think maidenhead is bad? I moved to the hard knock life of larchfield road 7 years ago and haven’t had a problem with it ever since. I can’t tell you of one incident of where I was ever scared or in fear of and danger. Yes you get get kids hanging on street corners with their dogs and yes they are smoking weed, show me a part of England where that doesn’t occur? You need to get some perspective or f*** off to Windsor.

  • Lloyd In Bolton

    I grew up in Maidenhead in the Belmont area and thought the “Bomber Estate” was rough. I have subsequently lived in Colchester, Harrow, Ealing, Birmingham, and now Bolton. My brother has stayed in Maidenhead and got a small house in the “Bomber Estate”. Maidenhead is far and away the safest and “poshest” of all the places I’ve lived in, and I appreciate how lucky I was to grow up there. We think it is laughable that as children we were wary of the “Bomber Estate”, and now my brother lives there. It’s fine.

  • K

    bomber isnt bad at all!

  • Murts

    Maidenhead is quite a clean town where murders, rapes and other serious crimes like that are few and far between. That’s not to say there is no crime but nothing major happens in Maidenhead from year to year that makes national news or anything.
    Maidenhead is not the most exciting town in Britain. It’s more a business town than a party town in all fairness but there are shops, pubs & clubs around advertising live music & karaoke etc…

    I think it’s unfair to say Maidenhead is pikeydom. Trust me, I have been to places in England that make Maidenhead look quite posh!

    Larchfield and Bombers are a bit rough but i’ve seen worse places, MUCH WORSE

    Of course there’s a few rough necks around but you’ll get that anywhere you live.

  • haha this is so f**king true. i live in maidenhead so i would know, and and if i had a quid for everytimev ive walked through the gullet i’d be a millionaire. my best mate lives in larchfield though and it ent that bad (btw i used to live on halifax road and its like hell)

  • James Mckelvie

    you have no idea wat u are goin on about larchfield aint the best estate but there is a lot worse places u go stay in britwell or slough or london u have no patrism either if u complain about english flags in windows ..MADNESS if u dnt like larchfield f**k off dnt complain about it and do nothing why dnt u do sumthing to make it a better place get a life or just move to henley no cahvs there and by the way chavs as the older generation put it are the future there be marryin your son or daughter be your police docters and teachers and if it is chavs that are causing problems its bevcaused your generation f**ked it up

  • James Mckelvie

    ur a turd

  • Louisa

    Maidenhead is nowhere near as bad as most places..

    • kate brown

      like burton