Langley Park is the village where the Co-op is considered ‘well posh,’ and where the hangout of choice for the local youth is behind the Spar, yes really, that’s their best choice. And by best choice, I mean the best place for them to ‘discreetly’ wait for somebody stupid enough to ‘gan in the shop’ for them. Now, the Spar is the next best place in Langley Park, an establishment so fancy, when it rains they put cardboard outside to soak it up, I mean, who can really afford a door mat?
The trail of scratchcards that lead from the spar, like a more depressing version of Hansel and Gretel’s bread crumbs, serve as a not-so-gentle reminder of just how skint everyone round here is, not so much the cards themselves, but the swarms of people checking them.
The boy racers speeding down the main road to show how cool they are, while the local piss-heads are staggering out the pubs really help the place seem like is has a ‘night life,’ and by that I mean, late-ish afternoon life…
There are more pubs than things for kids, and more places to get a takeaway than pubs, and more empty own brand vodka bottles discarded in the grass at the park than all that combined.
You still wouldn’t choose to move from here though, the next nearest place is Sacriston, and that place makes even here look like paradise.