dartmouth
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Devon, United Kingdom

Most incomers as the locals call you arrive into Dartmouth via one of the River ferries where you will be met with the best kept town centre wash with art galleries and quaint unique shops, all this with Sir Aston Webbs Naval College sits grandly overlooking the beautifully set postcard image. Dare you creep up the “Hill” into Townstal then the rot starts.

The locals despise anyone who earns a decent honest living, the largest employer is the benefits agency who see to all your every needs ensuring your incapacity benefit for your bipolar syndrome keeps you and your ADHD brood of different parentage in spa pasties and panda pop. They shun Sainsbury’s as they don’t sell gas and electric tokens and favour the spar shop which is burgled by the same person every month.

The gene pool is rather limited with three generations of inbreeding commonplace with 5 surnames accounting for 90% of the local populace. The rare decent folks house are interspersed with social services cases generally shipped in from Plymouth or Totnes. Drugs are common place along with untaxed cars carrying 6 kids on the back seats, the kids walk to school smoking roll ups mentally preparing themselves for another day learning to write their names in the dirt with a stick in preparation for claiming benefits for bipolar whilst sending their own illiterate children to school so they can get blind drunk on white lightning whilst dreaming up more efficient ways of claiming more benefits.

You will never fit in with these people unless you can decorate your garden with ornamental nappies to the annoyance of your decent hard working neighbours. A few locals will be aghast at your ability to converse intelligently with fellow humans, despising you for being happy and content. 90% of these people will live and die within a quarter of a mile of where they were born without venturing into the bright metropolis of Torbay or Plymouth.

It’s almost like deliverance in the modern world.

Enjoy Dartmouth but don’t venture up the hill! Don’t settle here unless you can afford a gin palace on the river! They don’t your fancy book learning ways ruining their lives!!

By: Mick

  • I

    Truth hurts? I think they guy who made that long meaningful comment was dead on. Most people in dartmouth are so clicky, rude and rough!

  • tash

    Well we can only hope that the sad act that has wrote this doesn’t live in our apparent “chav” town! Myself and Michael Usher think whomever wrote this load of s**t is most definitely a s**t stirring f#@k who is to afraid to state who they are along with there s**t opinion!

  • Elisha

    Someone with writing skills so poor has no right bashing the intelligence level of others. Please, consult with a freelance editor before posting publicly next time. They’re inexpensive and will save you from looking like a jackass- which between your dire writing ability and your incessant rambling, I’m afraid you seem highly incredible to insult others.

    As for what you have said, Dartmouth was my home before I moved to the states. Dartmouth is beautiful and the people are lovely. Every town has its downfalls. The fact that you have taken to the internet to spread your pathetic rant about Dartmouth – anonomously, of course – goes to show that you are most likely one of those few who lives and dies within a few feet of where you were born.

  • Abi Hollett

    What’s a spa pasty!! Mr intelligent? I think you’ll find we like subway these days…

  • liv

    You’re a pussy!! Whoever you are!! Posting anonomously mate how dare you? You’re honestly so wet. You have no right posting all this, some of it may be true mate but all the people who dont do any of that get a bad name dont they? Think about how we feel!! Put yourself in our position. You are one judgemental prick, leave them out.

  • Daniel Owen Edwards

    Good thing whoever wrote that posted it anonymously ……..cowardly liitle dick

  • Simon Howes

    I think it’s fairly obvious that this article has been written to put a deliberately negative spin on the Town. It’s not accurate at all and contains so much vitriol in those few badly constructed paragraphs that, even if someone was unfamiliar with the Town, they would know it’s a spoof and a nasty one at that!

  • seananddonna

    what a total W****** you are LOL good job you don’t live here, we don’t want people like you!!!!

  • Paul Barkley

    I’ve only been to Dartmouth as a tourist (I’m from Exeter) and only seen the picture postcard side. Whilst I appreciate the limited gene pool point, I think it applies to a much greater extent in other parts of the south-west (I spent 10 years living in Cornwall; for inbreeding try Bodmin, Camborne or Liskeard). Sorry, but overall I can’t see Dartmouth as a chav town; chav elements no doubt, but not overwhelming. For a real chav town quite close by try Plymouth

  • samantha pilling

    Before I moved to another of your listed chav towns I spent my teens in Dartmouth, and I had a wicked time growing up I went to Dartmouth Community College and left as the ’96 with 12 very good gcses my best years were in Dartmouth.

    The very back end if townstal is a dive and many living there will say tbe same thing., but what yiu need to remember is Dartmouth is a tourist town and after regatta the town shuts town for winter and its awful…… but i now live in the north with my husband and 3 very intelligant little boys that despite my youngest 2 having genetic hearing problems are now in another chav town wrongly listed on this in one of the top 20 ofstead schools in the UK now I’m sorry nor I or my husband of 10 wonderful are chavs and I find your stereotyping actually offensive, discriminatory and to be quite honest bloody insulting

    • davidwalter

      Intelligent is how the word is spelt.