Living in Chorley
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Lancashire, North West, United Kingdom

From the moment you enter this diseased hell hole you can smell the social waste of time, first stop is market walk, a ridiculous sort of shopping centre but with cheap scummy shops, like chavs favourite the Card Factory complete with squawking sprog and ecig cloud blown in your face.  Home of the shoplifting chav, he’ll most probably be hanging around in Game, a smelly ridden unit that sells  games to entertain the work shy chorlian, who has plenty of time on his hands, complete with the stolen smart phone and grubby tracksuit from Sports Direct.  To finish the look a few stains from his pound bakery pie dripped on his sleeve, on the move again his bird says she going looking in Card Shop for a baby shower card, quickly reappearing she says its f*cking expensive in there get 20 for 1 on market.

Night time is heaven to the dedicated chav spotter,they all congregate in the Prince of Wales, which has had 20 different allegedly ex con landlords since it opened.

After swigging the cheap lager, it’s tradition to threaten the bouncer on the way out. A favourite threat is (our kid is going to **** you after). The more randy chav will head for Applejax, which is without doubt the shitest nightclub anywhere in Britain (probably the world). If you’re unlucky enough to find yourself there, avoid all the tattooed birds at the bar as they’ve got a fantastic line in head butting, fighting chavs will also be in attendance, looking for it.

At closing time, all the delights of Chorley congregate at the nile takeaway abusing the local asians, while impressing their latest conquest, dressed to impress in the latest fashions from temptation clothes shop. After making their way to the taxi rank its the usual snog and a quick finger then slope off into the taxi home to the Pall mall, Eaves Lane or the Coppull area.

  • jordon

    chorley is a place full of miserable tight gits that all live in s**t hole houses the decent folk have long since departed this deprived dump, the council and police seem to support the plain right bone idle bums who never contribute anything to the town only getting pissed or buying drugs from their dealers on chapel st and surrounding streets. All that is left of the town is pound, charity bookies and cafes as all the decent chains have quietly bolted off over time.Avoid this place like the plague, sad but a lot of its faults, should be shouldered with the councils decisions to move every thing out of market st into the newly built market walk leaving that part of the town neglected.

  • -_-

    Chorley Is full of ‘Chavs’ but it can be an alright place if,
    1.Stand your ground
    2.Mind your own business

  • ChorleyIsGreat

    Excuse me, my Grandma lives in Chorley, my father was raised there and I visit there often, it is a wonderful place!

  • Nathan pilkington

    Chorley is good because I love c**k and there’s lots of gays

  • Sir toxic Terry

    Personally I love this town the lushus smell of vinegar in the air from the enticing herion burning on spoons, there is only the highest grade of fine class a drugs such as crack and smack to fill the heart and lungs of all Women and children graceing the streets with there presence, the council treat you as kings makeing you wealthy with all bennafits acquired at the local job centre a prime meeting area for the community, and practically free manshion houses in fine community’s such as liptrot and northgate for haveing many children to follow in your footsteps proudly, there is a strict dress code for the most important of people it consists of rebock classic trainers and a black plastic tracksuit and to top this combination off a Nike tn cap this outfit shows you are a true man or woman of chorley! The town carved by gods

  • chorleyexile

    I tried to read chazzy15´s comment but as its so full of spelling mistakes thrown in with txt tlk its like trying to decipher double dutch. Thing is, they are all as thick as f**k in this town.
    All the blokes trying to puff themselves up to pick a fight on the weakest they can, just so they can try to impress their chavette. Whats worse is they reproduce quicker than rabbits. Only rabbits have a purpose in life, these chavs don´t.

    I think the best thing to do is declare the town a nuclear test zone and Nuke it!
    Stop the f**kers from reproducing then!
    Best thing about chorley is there are good roads around it so you never have to see ken and barbie trying to figure out what all those words in the cartoons in the Sun mean.

  • chazzy15

    ryt iv lived in chrley all ma lyf n i used 2 live off trott n all u lot r mekin out dat chorley is ded bad   bt is fuk man   fukin hell get a grip    n all ma lyfiv lived lived in chorley iv neva bin twatted once   n im always owt every day on streets wi mi m8z so fuk u

  • Gouldy9

    Chorley is the worst place ever. I am unfortunate and live in the area (wheelton) and everytime i go into chorley, which is very rare, i fear for my life. Jsut because i have slightly longer hair, well ok, long hair, they threaten me