Living in Ollerton, Nottinghamshire

Ollerton: the most boring place to live

New Ollerton = old biddy central and a load of manky chavs. DO NOT come here, for your own sanity, don't even visit.

Living in Sneinton, Nottingham

Sneinton, Nottingham, do not come here for peace

It really is true that you don't know any place until you actually come to live in Sneinton.

Living in Bulwell, Nottinghamshire

Bulwell: If crippling depression could build a town.

Bulwell is the metropolitan equivalent of a distant gulag in Siberia - reserved only for the vilest and most capitalistic kulaks.

Living in Buxton, Derbyshire

Buxton teenage turf wars!

Buxton residents from birth, are put in 1 of 3 groups: the "Fairfield Freedom Fighters", "Harper Hillbillies" or "Heavegrove warriors".

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

Bourne, the place where social progress goes to die.

Bourne pubs are overrun by fat-headed macho men desperate to wrongly assert that your casual glance is actually an invitation to fight.