Combe Martin: One Foot in the Grave, set in Devon’s own Royston Vasey

Living in Combe Martin, Devon

Combe Martin?  A civil parish and former manor on the North Devon coast about 4 miles east of Ilfracombe.  You can’t really mistake this place, and you mustn’t.  Think Withnail and I and One Foot in the Grave, set in Devon’s own Royston Vasey. “Out of the World and into Combe Martin” as its old […]

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Warminster, the hidden sh*thole of roadmen and squaddie mattresses

Living in Warminster, Wiltshire

You would think a quiet town in Wiltshire with nothing in it, nor surrounding it, would generally be a well kept, peaceful town for the elderly to await their inevitable death. However, this is far from the case in Warminster. There are perhaps four main demographics that exist in Warminster. All with their own sub […]

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Braunton – Atlantis of *****

Living in Braunton, North Devon

Following on from someone else’s accurate review of Braunton, I thought I should add my own. Braunton is a small village located in one of the highest risk of flooding next to Atlantis. Which though they have finally bought better flood defences. It will do no good in another 5 years. The kids that live […]

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Churchdown – a final resting place

Living in Churchdown, Gloucestershire

Churchdown is a Gloucester outer-city housing estate nestling between incontinence and insanity that is home to a grey tsunami of geriatrics. It boasts a betting shop and a funeral directors and not much else, which is not surprising given that most of its inmates are housebound, glued to daytime television and poring over articles in […]

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Ilfracombe in North Devon – OMFG!

Living in Ilfracombe, Devon

Ilfracombe really does have excellent coastal scenery, the sea, and coastal walks. At the mo’ we’re house-sitting for family in Ilfracombe, aka Ilfrascum or Ilfradoom, so welcome to Poverty-on-Sea and another knackered resort reminiscent of that Viz cartoon: “Skegness – It’s f***** ****”. Never believe the brochures, but it’s not all bad. Blinding sunsets and […]

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Kingswood, Bristol: Sounds like a great place to live, isn’t!

Living in Kingswood, Bristol

Most of the people who live in Kingswood fit into one of these four categories: a **** a mother with 4+ children which she has no control over some old bloke with type 2 diabetes, going to Parsons/Greggs every day someone who has tried to succeed in life, but has failed miserably Kingswood is always […]

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North Devon – Grockle Hell

North Devon - Grockle Hell

Grockles; good for North Devon business but terribly bad for the digestion and the nerves. October never comes soon enough. First, the boring stuff: North Devon, England, is mainly rural seaside, with its district council sitting (or lounging about) in Barnstaple. North Devon District towns and villages include Westward Ho!, Braunton, Combe Martin, Ilfracombe, Instow, […]

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If you don’t have a kid by 20, are you really from Torquay?

Living in Torquay, Devon

Torquay is the place where the **** culture originated. If you don’t have a kid by the age of 20, are you really from Torquay? The average day consists of waking up trying to figure out who the girl next to you is, noticing her school uniform so decide to leave ASAP. Find your other […]

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Braunton posh!? I don’t think so!

Living in Braunton, Devon

Braunton at first glance, would appear to be the nicest, friendliest village in Devon. However, after living here I can tell you it’s all bullshit! The middle class parents that own their own houses don’t seem to care about the entitled little ***** they’ve brought into this world, while letting them out all night to […]

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Ilfracombe: Tips for the Terminally Clueless

Living in Ilfracombe, Devon

Here for the very first time in public are the mysterious Big Six tips, those elusive six golden rules for the terminally clueless. Tried and tested in Ilfracombe since 1975, or something. You’ll have to keep this quiet because it’s a secret. What is?… Ilfracombe that’s what…Where’s that? – North Devon, you silly. “It’s a […]

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Glastonbury: it’s hard to find anyone who isn’t blowing shamanic smoke up their own ****

Living in Glastonbury

Glastonbury is not just a festival. It’s a town in its own right. In fact, the locals (who funnily enough actually moved here from London 20 years ago) will happily tell you in their annual moan that it Glastonbury Festival is ACTUALLY Pilton Pop Festival – Pilton being a small village 5 miles east of […]

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Bristol: A battle between hipster and yokel

Living in Bristol

Bristolians are often derided for their farmer-come-pirate accents, and have never been though of as the classiest of folks. This is probably due to their lack of class. However, something has happened to Bristol over the past 10 years or so. Coffee shops, micro-breweries and organic food stores are springing up everywhere, ‘hipsters’ are filling […]

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