Bishop’s Cleeve – The smell of the country is a landfill

Living in Bishop's Cleeve, Gloucestershire

Situated downwind from a huge landfill site, Bishop’s Cleeve’ nestles in a pungent aroma of Methyl Mercaptan. New residents promised the smell of the country instead endure most of the day in the smell of the swamp. UK’s Largest Village And how appropriate that smell is. Bishop’s Cleeve biggest claim to fame is being among […]

Read More… from Bishop’s Cleeve – The smell of the country is a landfill

Winchcombe: Where Pinot Grigio and Pitch Forks are de rigueur

Living in Winchcombe, Gloucestershire

When you drive through Winchcombe or visit Sudely Castle you could be forgiven for looking at this chocolate box Cotswold town and thinking ‘how lovely’. The reality of living in this god forsaken place couldn’t be further from the rural idyll it pretends to be. Decades of ********** have resulted in many families bearing the […]

Read More… from Winchcombe: Where Pinot Grigio and Pitch Forks are de rigueur

Cheltenham: As posh as a pot noodle

Living in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire

Famed for it’s Horse racing, posh schools and culture festivals, it appears on the face of it, to be a great place to live with the town’s wealth attributed to these classy industries. For these reasons it attracts no end of pretentious tw@ts dressed for ‘escaping to the country’ who are utterly predictable from the […]

Read More… from Cheltenham: As posh as a pot noodle

Cheltenham: For people who like Waitrose and gushing about their salary

Living in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire

Before I start piling on the insults, let me just say I actually DO really like Cheltenham. It’s got a lot going for it; beautiful regency architecture, a great restaurant scene, lovely parks etc. It isn’t the town itself that I wish to shame, but the sorry excuses for human beings that live and breed […]

Read More… from Cheltenham: For people who like Waitrose and gushing about their salary

Churchdown – a final resting place

Living in Churchdown, Gloucestershire

Churchdown is a Gloucester outer-city housing estate nestling between incontinence and insanity that is home to a grey tsunami of geriatrics. It boasts a betting shop and a funeral directors and not much else, which is not surprising given that most of its inmates are housebound, glued to daytime television and poring over articles in […]

Read More… from Churchdown – a final resting place

Kingswood, Bristol: Sounds like a great place to live, isn’t!

Living in Kingswood, Bristol

Most of the people who live in Kingswood fit into one of these four categories: a **** a mother with 4+ children which she has no control over some old bloke with type 2 diabetes, going to Parsons/Greggs every day someone who has tried to succeed in life, but has failed miserably Kingswood is always […]

Read More… from Kingswood, Bristol: Sounds like a great place to live, isn’t!

I watched Deliverance the other day, it made me think of Cinderford

Living in Cinderford, Gloucestershire

I watched the movie Deliverance the other day, and immediately it made me think of Cinderford, a former coal mining community in West Gloucestershire that I have had the misfortune of visiting on several occasions. The fundamental similarities are there: lots of trees and lots of *******. I live close to Cinderford in the marginally […]

Read More… from I watched Deliverance the other day, it made me think of Cinderford

Lydney: The “lovely” little brother of Coleford

Living in Lydney, Gloucestershire

There is much to be said for a Forest of Dean education. Lydney is home to some of the region’s best and brightest; a town of philosophers, poets and deep thinkers. There is also much to be said for sarcasm, which the previous paragraph is full of. The inhabitants of Lydney (or Lydiots as I […]

Read More… from Lydney: The “lovely” little brother of Coleford

Cinderford: There is a tenth circle of hell

Living in Cinderford

When Dante’s Inferno was written all those years ago, the author gave us the most detailed and descriptive account of the nine different circles of Hell. Turns out he missed one. There are in fact 10 levels of Hell, and whilst the 9th circle is commonly thought to be the worst, the tenth circle is […]

Read More… from Cinderford: There is a tenth circle of hell

Newent, a million shades of grey

Living in Newent, Gloucestershire

There are 3 types of old people in the UK. Those between the ages of 90-100; walking around with their mouths ******* wide open as if they’ve just been told the world is running out of oxygen. Those between 80-90; slightly more lucid, but incontinence has clearly taken hold as evident by the stench of […]

Read More… from Newent, a million shades of grey

Gloucester – What a shame

Living in Gloucester

Oh dear Gloucester, what happened to you? A once proud cathedral city leading to the Cotswolds is now a crime ridden concrete hell-hole, festering with *****, homeless and criminals. The city centre could be worse, the cathedral is impressive and there are some nice old Tudor houses and quaint little shops etc. But that’s as […]

Read More… from Gloucester – What a shame

Coleford: The **** of the Forest of Dean

Living in Coleford, Gloucestershire

Have you ever walked through a town for several minutes before realising that everyone in it has the same facial features? Yes; everyone in Coleford is related. Brothers marry sisters, uncles marry nieces and I believe there is even a chap named Dave who married his favorite pet sheep. To say the gene pool is […]

Read More… from Coleford: The **** of the Forest of Dean