Shaftesbury – it’s great if you’re old and rich

Living in Shaftesbury, Dorset

Perched atop of the famous “Gold Hill” of the Ridley Scott Hovis advert, Shaftesbury has a high street of woe. A mixture of charity shops, coffee shops (last count 10 for a population of 5,000 odd) and gift shops for the grockles. If you need to buy something useful such as a paintbrush or a […]

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Isle of Portland – Where hope goes to die

Living in the Isle of Portland, Dorset

Dangling from the ragged backside of the similarly abysmal Weymouth like something a good wipe failed to dislodge, is the isle of Portland. I saw another post on here pointing out that locals talk about the island’s beauty when what they really mean is that the views AWAY from Portland, out to sea, are beautiful. […]

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Weymouth: Every day is like Sunday

Living in Weymouth, Dorset

“Every day is like Sunday”, warbled famous songster Morrissey, in his tale of a bleak, broken seaside town. He was clearly visiting Weymouth when he wrote it. But let’s take you through a guided tour of the stunning sights “the **** of Dorset” has to offer the unwitting tourist. The Beach Undoubtedly a stunning vista, […]

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The Isle of Portland: The jewel in Dorset’s butt cheeks

Living in the Isle of Portland, Dorset

Portland: People often say “it’s lovely, all the sea views, all the views of the coast it’s beautiful”. I would like to point out that those are views of something that is NOT Portland. Turn 180 degrees and look at the grey houses, the grey people with baffled expressions when faced with anything more modern […]

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Sherborne, a hideously deranged town that looks great from afar

Living in Sherborne, Dorset

Sherborne, this hideous town and populace looks picture perfect to anyone visiting; beautiful buildings, clean and tidy public areas, a politeness that is unheard of in any large town. However if you see underneath the exterior there is a festering, filthy wound of bitterness and small town resentment for anyone whose ancestors haven’t plagued the […]

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Bournemouth, quite possibly the biggest lie ever conceived.

Living in Bournemouth

When you think of Bournemouth, you think of a nice, happy place with nice views and sandy beaches, with nice weather. I’ll admit, having come from Dagenham, and with family all across East London and Essex, nothing could **** those sh*tholes, but alas, an unlikely contender reared its ugly head, and typically, it happened to […]

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Bridport: historic idiot town

Living in Bridport, Dorset

Bridport the historic tw@t town (it really says it on the sign on the way in) a town that has a bigger cover up rate than area 51. So maybe it says it’s a historic market town and the people are welcoming like a certain tv series on cbs reality called underbelly bridport has a […]

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I had the misfortune of visiting Boscombe

Living in Boscombe, Bournemouth, Dorset

I had the misfortune of visiting Boscombe on a Thursday. It seems to attract the ****-Parents who have collected their social and decided to have a Maccy d’s for a treat. Maccy d’s was full of fathers and mothers with their snot faced kids in a second-hand push chair. One father had black-finger nails and loose […]

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Poole “it’s a beautiful place”, yeah right!!!!!!

Living in Poole, Dorset

Poole… “it’s a beautiful place” my ****! Whoever used that quote for Poole must have a white stick. The place is a state and is probably one of the chaviest towns i have ever had to live in. I mean the place is heaving with them..like flies around a kebeb stick. Pulling up on the […]

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Sherborne (or Shubbun – depending where you’re from)

Sherborne. An historic Abbey Town in North Dorset, within easy reach of the Jurassic Coast, ancient monuments and green and pleasant pastures. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well… I wrote an article here a while back, maybe 2 years, and it seems to have been deleted… Can’t think why, other than to replace the mask I […]

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