Woking

What can I say? Woking has everything that it needs to become **** central… chertsey road (where ALL ****** seem to assemble for some good old fashioned underage drinking), the big craphole (fun fun fun for all the family, except if you aren’t wearing tracksuit bottoms) and TK Maxx with the recently deceased madhouse. The […]

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Reigate, Surrey

Reigate, jewel in the crown of the Surrey Hills market towns, has at last succumbed to the tidal wave of Chavity sweeping our nation. She tried for so long to fend off advances from neighbouring Redhill and Woodhatch (hotbeds of pikiness), but the virus has found a breeding ground in the White Hart (Church Street). […]

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staines

Of all the towns laying claim to ****-appeal, the miserable peri-urban sprawl of Staines, this architectural blot on the Middlesex landscape, sits head and shoulders above the rest. It is the absolute apex of **** residential aspiration, crammed as it is from end to end with tattooed, burberry-clad knuckle-draggers… the slack-jawed, insolent, gum-chewing and witless […]

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Camberley

Welcome to Camberley! You will be able to see the difference from above like black on white. On one half you see the dwellings of the middle and upper class, the teenage girls who get lots of money from ‘daddy’ then goes into town, where instead of buying some holiday clothes, she’ll swiftly proceed the […]

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Sutton, Surrey

Sutton has been **** heaven for years now. The rude boys and girls can be found ******* outside the St Nicolas shopping centre or being abusive to anyone that wanders into McDonalds (Macedees, to the ****!) Boys, were full **** atire, jeans, baseball caps fake burberry and reebok classics. collars always worn up. In true […]

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Guildford

A multitude of ***** from across the social spectrum. A study of the **** capital of the south east. Guildford, Surrey. Nestling in the heart of the commuter belt of middle class england, approx. 30 miles south-west of London. This quiet, historic market town provides sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of daily life in […]

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Redhill- *Deadhill*

Rite well, wat can i say.. if u aint heard of “deaders” or “Deadhill” before then.. ya lucky..!! **** Central.. its got all the Bling!! massive gold ear-rings wiv TACKY girls names in em .. like “chantell” n “britney” its got the gold medalions.. those ****** nasty DUSTBIN LID rings.. wat ever u call em..?… […]

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Morden

I can’t believe there’s no entry on this site for Morden. Let me enlighten you…… Morden, Surrey is situated at the end of the Northern Line and is but a short drive in a souped-up Nova from the **** strongholds of Sutton (AKA Slutton) and Mitcham. The filthy ***** of Morden congregate in the main […]

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