Living in Crowhurst, East Sussex

Crowhurst: Why you SHOULDN’T live here

Crowhurst is basically one big field, there is approximately 0 post offices, 0 shops, 0 restaurants, 1 s**tty pub and 0 entertainment.

Living in Fareham, Hampshire

Fareham: if inbreeding was a town.

I've lived in Fareham my whole life, but it wasn't until I was 16 that I realised why there were so many buck-toothed-cross-eyed-chavs.

Living in the Wood Farm Estate, Oxford

Wood Farm Estate, Oxford: is Horrible – Don’t go There

The highlight (or more likely lowlight) is the infamous Foresters Tower.

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Sheerness is the end of the line... on a sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy.

Living in Blackbird Leys, Oxford

Blackbird Leys, Oxford is a Haven for the Underclass

I felt sick when walking around Blackbird Leys, Oxford. I would rather move to Uzbekistan than spend more than 10 minutes in this dump.