Living in Longtown, Cumbria

Oh Longtown… You suck!

Longtown has a long history, especially with it being on the border of England and Scotland. Although ask many of the locals who were educated from the 80s onwards and they couldn't tell you any of it.

Living in Garstang, Lancashire

Garstang – Had enough of the modern age?

Garstang: you'll soon discover, there is nothing else to discover following the realisation that without a car, you really are stuck here.

Living in Carlisle, Cumbria

Carlisle: the people who inhabit this city are not quite right

Carlise: a land you will never forget and unless you have a raging drug problem, you will never visit again.

Living in Darwen, Lancashire

Darwen: a pretty little market town? the reality can’t be more different!

The A666 into Darwen is lined on both sides with Pubs and Takeaways, their signages glaring and flashing to entice in the slack-jawed yocals

Living in Shaw, Greater Manchester

Shaw: The Place That Joy Forgot

All in all, Shaw is a sh*thole, and thank god I'm leaving for good. If you like being a tw@t, it could be the place for you