Langley Park is the village where the Co-op is considered ‘well posh’

Living in Langley Park, County Durham

Langley Park is the village where the Co-op is considered ‘well posh,’ and where the hangout of choice for the local youth is behind the Spar, yes really, that’s their best choice. And by best choice, I mean the best place for them to ‘discreetly’ wait for somebody stupid enough to ‘gan in the shop’ […]

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Wooler: in the morning it’s a lovely rural town, by midday it changes

Living in Wooler, Northumberland

In the morning this is a lovely rural town, old people go out and do their thing. Between midday and the afternoon they start to disappear, one by one. And I understand why… by the late afternoon ***** start crawling out of every house and every corner. ***** all ages, from 12 all the way […]

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Bradford is the stinking ar*e crack of Europe

Living in Bradford, Yorkshire

Bradford, in my opinion is the biggest hole in Europe, never mind the UK. With around 526,400 people in its district and most are drug dealers who roll around in their awful pimped up Range Rovers and people who just spend half of their life in Wetherspoons drinking away while claiming benefits. I come to […]

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Goldthorpe, Bolton-On-Dearne, Wath – the Brown-toothed underbelly of society

Living in Goldthorpe, Wath, Bolton upon Dearne, Yorkshire

I’m not quite sure where to start here. You could start with the Brown-toothed underbelly of society that like to believe they’re from the close knit group of people ‘up goli’. You could also start with the Neanderthal inhabitants of Bolton, that love to loiter outside the particularly foul smelling Tesco Express, or go ‘t’ […]

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The sad decline of The North

The sad decline of The North

It angers and saddens me a great deal to read the many obituries of once proud working and mining towns like Barnsley, Rotherham, Sheffield, Middlesbrough, Sunderland etc on this site. These were all places I was familiar with as a very young man back in the late 1970s and places I loved to visit and […]

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Stanley, County Durham: Bleak, Depressing, Godawful.

Living in Stanley, County Durham

Desolate. Windswept. Like a vision from Mad Max but with Greggs and discount shops as the pantomime baddies. Stanley suffers from an ideal location in the North East, which means its commercial doom. Once upon a time, Stanley had a commercial heart, albeit recovering from the Thatcherite industrial genocide that dispensed with the coalmines, shipbuilding […]

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Newbiggin-By-The-Sea full of mullet, snapback, tracky bottom wearing idiots

Living in Newbiggin by the Sea, Northumberland

Newbiggin-By-The-Sea, where do i start? Newbiggin is a small fishing village in Northumberland North East, crawling with dressing gown wearing teenage mums, underage smokers and drinkers, and loud rowdy locals! This town is by far, one of the worst places to be in the whole of Northumberland. Its streets are filled with mullet, snapback, nike, […]

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Otley, the town that is well known as grotley otley.

Living in or moving to Otley, Yorkshire

The town that is well known as grotley otley. It is pituresque, with cobbled roads and a beautiful riverside… are you wondering what’s so bad about it? It’s quite plain and simple, simple being the operative word in this, THE PEOPLE! I’m now under the conclusion that the people in this town were once experimented […]

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The Boldons make you want to chuck yourself in front of the No. 9 bus

Living in Boldon, Tyne and Wear

You’d think having between 10-20 pubs from one metro too the other, an abundance of corner shops and hair dressers, Asda, McDonalds, Frankie and Bennies, Pizza Hut, Nandos that attracts so many **** boys it just not fair, Cineworld that brings the rest of south Tyneside too you. Which you just can not be arsed […]

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