Living in Colchester

Colchester, omg innt whateva geez, we iz fik!

Colchester has emptying shops, empty bus depots, dangerously uneven pavements and an embarrassment of a Saturday town market.

Living in Leigh on sea, Essex

Leigh on Sea, thinks it’s a glass of champagne, when really it’s a bucket of p*ss

It's at night that the true horror of Leigh manifests itself . Coked up oiks and orange women, eyeing each other up.

Living in Colchester, Essex

Colchester, Oh how this town has changed!

As with most towns like Colchester, they are near enough for Havering District Council's spawn to leach into the area, thus bringing it down

Moving to Thurrock, Essex

Living in Thurrock, Essex

The towns surrounding Stanford-le-hope, like Tilbury, make it look like Mayfair.

Living in Tilbury

Tilbury, a God-forsaken town of disgruntled, rancorous d*ckheads

Tilbury is merely a scab of Essex along the mouth of the River Thames. Avoid at all costs.