Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Derbyshire, East Midlands, United Kingdom
  1. On first glance – Buxton is a jewel set in the Peak District where obviously middle class folks go about their business squeezing out 2.4 kids, helping out on the PTA and worrying about upgrading the company Mondeo to an Audi A4 by catching the bosses eye on whatever no-mark and irrelevent project they happen to be working on this week – it’s a ‘par for the course’ commuter town.

    Only it’s not and if you look a little closer…….

    The tradition of the CHAV and it’s related social underclass connotations go back for hundred’s of years – because that’s how long many of the local families have resided here never daring to leave Buxton’s warm embrace breeding with each other to drain an ever decreasing genealogical pool. The Buxton CHAV is a creature who likes to hang around the Pavillion Gardens car park after 2000h drinking WKD. This shite inhabits the recently opened KFC where they find all the sustinance their emaciated bodies require honestly believing that a FANTA contains all the vitamin C they require. They also have an ALDI from where they can purchase whatever it is this vile underclass reqiire for sustinance.

    In the evenings – the older ones like to frequent the ‘Cheese’ where they can beat the crap out of the recently arrived dregs of the UCAS system who study at the local campus of Derby University – they can be found in the Spicy Kitchen at turning out time where the ubiquitous tra of donner meat and chips can be purchased without taking too much out of the job seekers allowance/family allowance/income support.

    Where do these miscreants come from? Well – on the edge of town is a festering/weeping sore known as Fairfield AKA Scumville. No-one of taste of self respect lives here by choice yet the local morons see it as a badge of honour and they breed with one another to ensure the area is re-populated with first/second/third generation pond scum. The Police won’t even patrol there even though they know all the criminality in Buxton occurs up there – they would rather park a mile or two up the A6 to catch ‘speeding’ TAX PAYING commuters on their way home from a hard day in the office – thus one can argue the Police assist in the perpetuation of the Buxton Chav myth.

    Benefit claiming Buxton shite like to drive constantly from upper Buxton to lower Buxton day and night in various souped up untaxed and uninsured bangers listening to loud dance music in between attempting to impregnate 14 year old females they pick up on the Market Place or the aforementioned car park at the Gardens.