Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom

In the early 1960s some clever p***k in the council discovered there was a building substance called concrete and devoted over 20 minutes convincing the other half dead councillors to rebuild Aylesbury with it, and in an act that rivals Vesuvius’s covering of Pompeii in lava, Aylesbury was covered in Grey. Any building that had previously given the town its market town look was looked on with derision; whole street vanished to make way for a new shopping area called Friars Square and a new County Office called a f*****g eyesore, that was designed by someone who copied his 40 year old in-bred one eyed son’s construction of a penis made out of the Lego bricks he been chewing since birth.

To accommodate the hoards of builders, labourers and whores that rushed to the destruction estates sprang up all around the town centre; copying early the early success of Southcourt, there soon followed Quarrendon, Quarrendon 2 (the revenge), Elmhurst, Prebendal Farm, Mandeville, Walton Court, Quarrendon 3 (this time its personal) Hawslade Farm, and Buckingham Park, (my apologies to any chav having this read to them if I missed out your particular shitsink estate) all full to the rafters with nasty little chavs who spend their dole money overnight on drugs then spend 13 days in the gainful employment of burglary.boasts several pubs all of which are shite! In the day they are full of fat women with multi-coloured families drinking strong lagers while their brats run riot around the pub screaming and pissing everyone except for the inept barstaff who have learned to shut down during working hours. During the evening, the skinny drug addled husbands/boyfriends/pimps come in trying to sell the wares they have worked so hard to procure, and swap stories of how they terrorised some old lady in her own home as they plundered her meagre possessions (again) to howls of delight and laughter.

One of those c***s who murdered people during the London bombings came from Aylesbury, pity he didn’t let the f*****g thing off before he left

By: Daniel

  • Dominic Powell

    The trouble with a discussion about Aylesbury is the rigid class divides that exist in the town (see my previous post).

    For example:

    Most comments here are from ‘middle-class’ people – good grammar, articulate with a point to express. I sympathise with these people because they have the most pride and stake in the place they live.

    However, I say to these people – you know nothing of what it feels like to grow up in a town that despises your existence, and prevents you from attending the good schools because your knowledge and experience is deemed not worthy. Working class people (‘chavs’) are prevented from participation from the age of 12 (or 11). This is the grammar school system in action.

    A ‘Woking class chav’ comment on here might attack all poshos and probably be filled with grammar mistakes – however, most working class Aylesburyites would not dare to comment on here because of their lack of confidence with the written word. They will settle this in person when they see you on a night out.

    Lastly, the upper class people who have second homes in Aylesbury would never comment on this site – they neither care or worry about anyone elses opinion and they do as they please.

  • Dominic Powell

    I grew up in Aylesbury, it’s a strange place. As an adult, I’ve lived in Birmingham, Liverpool, London, North Wales and Perth (Scotland), so I feel I have good experience for a comparison.

    The trouble with Aylesbury is…it’s very rigidly split between class lines. You either have the poor working class fulfilling all the badly paid jobs (and causing trouble on a Friday/Saturday night), the smug and nervous middle classes who use the town as a creche for their spoilt children to go to one of the grammar schools (whose children then take their education/money to London and put nothing back into the town), or the upper class (Rothchilds, David Cameron for example) who use the town as a quaint safe-haven and who hold back any sort of progressive change (for example, appalling road network to anywhere else).

    People in Aylesbury do not cross their class barriers. People in Aylesbury ‘know their place’.

    You could argue that this class divide is present throughout Britain, but from my experience, people in other towns and cities are much more homogenised than Aylesbury. I think this situation is caused in part by the grammar school system, which splits children from different social backgrounds and means the working class and middle class always fear each other and do not mix.

    Aylesbury also does not have any industry or job opportunities to attract young people, so the town always feels very sleepy.

    One more element of Aylesbury’s weirdness is that it does not have much heritage (much of the old town was torn down in the 60’s) but it also does not have much of an exciting future because it is cut off from many of the cities around it.

    Sorry for the generalisations here, there are some nice people who live in Aylesbury (from all ‘classes’), but on the whole, Aylesbury is a thwarted place from which anyone with a mixed class tries to escape.

  • brian

    Further to my observations of the scrounging, lazy single mother benefit scum of a couple of weeks ago, it’s interesting that there is no money left for pensioners or hard working people down on their luck or temporarily out of work or genuinely disabled people…by disabled I mean actually disabled not just grossly fat and useless which is self inflicted.
    It’s also noticeable that the hopeless Aylesbury Town Council/District Council et al were so incompetent that when we had the protracted snow and ice last winter that the High St pavements and every other pavement in the vale were left as ice covered death-traps until it melted..a lack of cash to pay for the ice to be cleared was the excuse…Lack of Cash..Thats my point!
    I expect that taxpaying people are still waiting for months to see consultants for medical issues, or assistance with an aged relative or disabled child, Why?… because there’s no money left in the pot to provide proper care for them, but there appears to be loads of cash for all kinds of scrounging immigrants who come here and don’t work or integrate or pay tax, for free treatment for which they have never paid a penny…(along with the scum single mothers)…why is it that after paying tax for 40 plus years that I have to pay for prescriptions (nearly £8.00 a time) and eye tests and dental and now they have even stolen my bus pass from me,
    Every whore single mother and their verminous offspring get everything for free, its noticeable that when I queue up for my prescription every non indigenous, non British person doesn’t pay a penny along with the single mothers, easily identifiable..fat,tattooed, common, stinking of fags.
    Aylesbury and towns like it are representative of all that’s wrong with our broken society, we have the largest number of teenage pregnancies, drug addiction and alcoholism, the largest number of the vermin of Europe…not the Doctors, Nurses, Engineers, and other Professionals…they’ve all F**Ked off to Australia, Canada and the US, what we get is every criminal useless diseased scum from all over the world to the UK, and places like Aylesbury are typical of where they end up, why do they come straight from, for example, Africa, straight through Europe to here?..because there is no free ticket to benefits in any other European country, the UK is the land of free handouts, housing, benefits and medical care, then they set about turning our beautiful country into the same disease ridden corrupt dung heap that they have just come from!
    For example single mother scum in Italy or France or Spain are looked upon as the whore vermin that they are, there are no free houses and cash for them there, they are treated as what they are, useless slag’s!
    In short in the UK all the people who get out of bed at 6 or 7 am and go to work and pay huge amounts in taxes get nothing when they need it the most, whilst every single mother slut who probably has never contributed anything..except maybe a sexually transmitted disease, to society along with all kinds of immigrant garbage from all over the world and soon it will be the gypsy thieving Romanians and Bulgarians who are here with one grasping hand out for free everything whilst the other hand is stealing your wallet or selling drugs to your kids, the people who pay for all this, like me, the taxpayer get sweet F**k All!

    • Dominic Powell

      Angry in Aylesbury, I know you well. You should get out more.

  • Brian

    up to appoint I agree about Aylesbury, I moved from thame and the first thing I noticed was the large numbers of fat slaggy tattooed single mothers with their multi-coloured basta*d offspring.
    these wimmin are so vile and hideous it amazes me that anyone, let alone the scummy chavs that congregate in the LitterTray (Litten Tree) in kingsbury square, could even force themselves to get a hard on to actually F**k one of these gargantuan slappers.
    You see these useless obese disease ridden filth with their vile equally useless offspring trudging around the town with some weaseley rat faced unemployed drug ridden waster of a “boyfriend” trailing along behind them, although you don’t notice him until after she(it) has passed by because he’s completely hidden by her enormous sagging fat arse which is so big its got its own gravitational pull
    They all wear filthy trackies and trainers because they can’t get any normal clothing to fit.
    Unfortunately this vermin then go on to infest one or two of the only decent pubs in the town, The Bell for example.
    These lazy gross vile excuses for a human being bring their sh*t and snot encrusted verminous spawn into places where decent normal people want to have a quiet drink or a meal, and proceed to make the life of everyone around them miserable with their loud foul mouthed excrescences, banging on about their rights for free housing and free money so they can spend it in pubs and bars and have mobile phones and fags.
    If you say anything to them about their foul language all you get is a mouthful of filth and a load of crap about their “rights”…what about the rights of the decent hard working people who have come out for a pleasant time only to find these filthy benefit scum are polluting everything they touch and the whole atmosphere of the place you are in.
    its about time we stopped all benefit for these career single mothers, whose children grow up to be equally useless and break the chain of benefits.
    they should all be sterilised so they can get F***ed by any kind of useless unemployed blind drug crazed twat who obviously has no sense of smell ‘Cause of all the coke he’s shoved up his nose, and not have anymore kids which the rest of us have to pay for.

  • Nick

    I’ve spent the last 4 years living in Aylesbury and I have to disagree. I’ve previously lived in Bath, Nottingham, London and would say Aylesbury has been the most pleasant. Every town/city has chavs and the above is a massive over exaggeration.

  • Matt

    Aylesbury is a bit of a hole, the shopping is particularly lousy, but is surrounded by nice countryside.

    Feral offspring in otherwise decent establishments is indeed a major concern.

    But whilst there is a large community of untouchables, most haven’t got the drive to succesfully mould themselves into bona-fide facist chavs. Aimless and clueless, they are best described simply as scummy.

  • charlie

    i always thiught aylesbury was a nice place, ive thought about moving their myself, i am in ealing at the moment